Whose monkey is it anyway?

My feeling is that capuchin monkeys should be free and open, because monkey wants to be free. I shall now start an OpenMonkey project and get the Free Software Foundation to support me.

Seriously, how can we look forward 20 years and see that someone has TAKEN OWNERSHIP of the monkeys? Our grandchildren.. they demand more of us.

Terrifica is here to save you, ladies.

I’m not sure New York girls really need a lot of help. And most women I know would pepper-spray her and start running if she approached them. The world is a very big place. Very, very big..

This evening meta_kate and I were at D’s blathering about politics pretty enjoyably; she knows a lot about the subject and I’m happy to listen.

A young woman showed up and was ordering coffee. She was maybe 18 or 19 at most and had a pretty much perfect body of the dancer/gymnast type; slim, athletic. She also wasn’t wearing very much.

However, she was also wearing a gigantic faux-fur cloche hat, the kind that looks like you’re a cartoon character wearing a church bell.

The whole effect was very odd. She looked like she’d be a hit on the dance floor of a New York club at 1 am. But this was Costa Mesa, California in a coffee house at 7:15 p.m. And there was Little Miss Hottie looking like she fell out of a Fellini movie.

While Kate and I were discussing this, yet another almost identical woman showed up, wearing almost identical garb, plus a faux fur coat. They then left together.

Unfortunately the rest of my evening was less decadent. I came home, made pumpkin pie, ate some of it, and now I’m going to go to bed.

..the hats… why?

I ordered stuff from Aquarius. Woot. I got:

• Bruce Haack’s “Hush Little Robot”
• Raymond Scott’s “Manhattan Research”
• The Anton Maiden iron maiden karaoke disaster record
• Scenic/Lanterna live recordings
• DJ Drank’s Greatest Malt Liquor Hits

I await my package breathlessly.

These boots were made, etc. Climate-inappropriate, not typically me, 20 years too late for the punk rocker I was, manly yet dorky, i present:

BOOTS

for the following reasons:

1. Excess candy consumption
2. Adults stealing kids’ holiday
3. Excess beer consumption
4. Auto vs. Pedestrian/Pediatric trauma
5. Stupid costumes at work
6. Increasingly gory and bizarre front yard displays (hanged man, tombstone) in my suburban neighborhood
7. Lame-ass ad tie-ins for every product (mattresses, used cars) just like at Christmas
8. Mallgoths
9. “Vampires”
10. Teenagers “trick or treating” by doing what they always do (drinking, having sex on the lawn) except in lame costumes

This concludes my scroogey rant.

We have a Porsche ad on our site at work. It links to videos advertising their new “Cayenne” sport-ute. The ads emphasize Porsche’s off road history, with footage of a tractor they built in the 50s, various rally champion 911 cars, and finally the Cayenne.

Curiously they omit some other Porsche offroad design classics, such as Doc Ferdinand’s excellent tanks which did such great duty on both fronts in the Second World War. C’mon guys.. these are your ROOTS!

I suggest:

“We don’t just go camping. We take you to CAMP!”

“If we can make it through Russian ice and snow to shell innocent villagers in the Ukraine, we can get you to the grocery store”

“Drivers, gunners, wanted”

etc

It’s like letters to the Evil Santa. Hilarious.

http://www.wired.com/news/conflict/0,2100,55967,00.html

I’m not sure which is funnier, that lots of nutty people want to talk to the guy, or that they think they’re anonymous when they send shit like this.

Very Simpsons.

Sauteed scallops with cracked pepper and sesame seeds over Lundberg Wild Blend rice cooked in broth with saffron. Not pictured: Stirfried green beans with tangerine sauce and cashews.

Look on my dish, ye mighty, and despair