Loneliness and cheeseburgers *are* a dangerous mix, especially when you’re out of cheeseburgers.

In the middle of all this fire bullshit we just had this:

3.7 2003/10/29 15:44:48 34.290N 118.747W 5.1 4 km ( 2 mi) WNW of Simi Val
ley, CA

Nice. A 3.7 in Simi. I bet that was fun for the people fighting fires at the epicentre.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/gallery/image/0,8543,-10504784198,00.html

Little Timmy Marxist takes on the Fires

I liked “City of Quartz” but I’ve hated Mike Davis ever since he declared that the L.A. Riots were the start of some socialist revolution. Now he’s trying to make a huge conflagration into a Junior Marxist Class Project.

Go eat a charcoal briquet, Mike.

Newsbunny in fireman outfit: Drink 1 shot and unbutton pants. If pants are already unbuttoned, rebutton them.

Homeowner saying “It was so green and now it’s all gone” or equivalent: Drink 1 shot

Newscaster saying over helicopter footage “That’s a lot of fire”: Drink 2 shots.

Fire captain saying “This is a large and dangerous fire”: Drink 1 shot and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. If you mess up during the Pledge, you must take another shot and start over.

Newscaster saying “These are beautiful/expensive homes”: Drink 1 shot and pour 1 shot on a piece of furniture.

Person being interviewed about animal evacuation: The cat must drink 1 shot.

Person in SUV sobbing: Drink 1 shot and sing “Amazing Grace”.

Newscaster saying “This fire is very hot”: pour 1 shot on your knee and ignite it.

NOTE: If your actual house ignites during the game, drink the entire bottle and evacuate.

http://www.brandsonsale.com/jokbyex.html

I actually saw this thing in the Sharper Image Catalog, along with the kids’s version ( http://www.excaliburelectronics.com/juniorjm.html ).

I can’t imagine myself drunk enough for this.

“Man or Woman Bashing”? “animal crack-ups”?

However, the hacking possibilities are interesting. When I think about thousands of them being shipped full of horrifying racist jokes, emetic dead baby jokes, barfing cat noises, or Hitler’s speech at Nuremberg, I get a warm feeling and it makes me happy.

Boom bash crunch it’s time to have a rock and/or a roll with the ever-fabulous FERDINAND, who play an acoustical set at the SCENE In GLENDALE this THURSDAY. It is FREE.

With Fire Ants, Fire Bug, Blood Arm, and Terrazzo.

http://listen.to/ferdinand for details.

When I was a kid, I had an insect collection.

“Hellhole Canyon evacuations ordered”.

Oh god, no! The beauty and verdant quiet of HELLHOLE CANYON will never be the same again.

Standing tall again, and forever.