observation

Friendster is the world’s largest permanent ongoing high school yearbook.

I want to see “Executive Fear Factor”, myself

Offices of the Rich and Famous, brought to you by Microsoft Office.

It’s like MTV’s Cribs for the frozen-hair executive set. Or, more properly, for the middle-management guys who worship executives.

The Last Thing Colonel Sprumworthy Saw

mildlife

In their eyes there’s something lacking / What they need’s a SURFACE TO AIR MISSILE

I picked up an issue of the throwaway Orange County rag at D’s tonight and looked through the ads. There was lots of great stuff for people who have money and want to feel like they also have that elusive thing: class. For example:

A real estate company advertising that their development (very expensive) had “pure panache”.
A dating service for “gorgeous women and upscale men” that is having a private ”lingerie fashion show” at the Ritz at which all the models are guaranteed to be single, available, and registered with the agency.
A cosmetic surgeon who will provide you with “French Pouty Lips” for $250 (Freedom Lips?)
Another surfer-businessman OC LAMER
Corporate Comedy!
The previously mentioned-in-LJ “Model Quality Introductions” which got me my best spit take ever*
Inappropriate, gratuitous, and risibly horrible use of words like “plantation”.
A spray tanning system called “High Pressure Destiny” that “Gives unbelievable results: FAST!”
An article about a tennis player named “Stephi Graph” (maybe her family invented the paper?)
This asshole

There’s more, but I think I’m burnt out now.

*When I was giving bruisedhips the skinny on Model Quality Introductions the other night I uttered their closer phrase: “After the initial date, if the chemistry is mutual, you can start a relationship then and there.” And she showered the patio with tea. Best spit take ever.

Hell

..is a smooth “jazz” version of Spandau Ballet’s “True”.

Misery loves taxidermy

Talking with my mother about Spalding Gray, she remarked that in his monologues he is always very controlled and distinguished and professional: almost the impersonal narrator of his own tale. He describes things that are very difficult experiences some times, but doesn’t let emotion slip himself, or covers it with dry humor.

Based on what we know about his own emotional life, though, he’s often very overwhelmed.

I realize that this is my technique as well. When I have an insoluble problem or an unhealed injury, I throw a net of words at it. Frame it this way and that, do it as dialogue or story or poem, do it in the second or third person. The completely unacceptable things in my life turn into Exercices de Style soon enough.

This has the effect of drenching my friends in my own tears to an extent and makes me look like a real whiner at times. However, I think it’s what keeps me alive. Lately, when I’m in a state of need and failure that I haven’t had in 15 years, prose is all I’ve got.

And unlike poor Spalding, I haven’t jumped off any ferries. Besides, if I jumped off the ferry in my town I’d just be in six feet of gross bay water.