Enough “news” about Mel’s Jesus movie already. If he did for Christ what he did for Hamlet it’s going to be a disaster anyway.

For someone who’s made a career out of glorifying revenge, violent madness, stomach-churning violence, comical murder, gross criminality, and mano a mano High Noon standoffs as the essence of masculine power and sexuality, he’s got a lot to answer for before he starts making movies about Jesus Christ.

Maybe if he’d made more movies like Gallipoli and less like Payback I’d be inclined to take him more seriously, but come on. It’s like being asked to swallow a biopic of St. Francis by Jean-Claude Van Damme or “The Gautama Buddha Story” produced by Charles Bronson.

Shut up, Mel.

http://personals.yahoo.com/personals-1071100268-380191

I’d love to “argue with her about physics” but I don’t make more than $100,00 so it would just be a “waist”, I “sence”.

A tiny pretty Vietnamese girl in a little Toyota with license MY RIOT zips in front of me. I see her buying a pound of Skittles™

Outside I notice that her plate frame reads “spoiled because I’m Hoodlum’s girl”.

Spent yesterday being violently sick every 2 hours. Finally graduated up to ice chips, then water, then yogurt & miso soup at 2 am. So, not the worst stomach bug ever, got it killed in a day.

Fortunately the Deity did not heed my many requests to kill me, knowing that I would be better soon.

A lot of unasked-for reflective time was not amusing. If I could be distracted from myself for the rest of my life I’d be happy man.

I am drowning in the sea behind your ship.

Intestinal bug. blark.

Someone has taken the trouble to screengrab, document, and record at least one song from the transcendent work of Mr. David Nkrumah Liebe Hart, the mad Christian Science puppeteer.

I alone survive to tell you this tale.

Alas, a doomed mission to your infernal area has trapped me among you primitive hypocrites.

Read! An excerpt from the novel.

See! His flash stylings.

Hear! His inexplicable music.

Claw! Your face entirely off.

Another excerpt available

from an irc discussion with stimps, fimmtiu, halfjack and others:

chocolate chip avalanche bailey’s pukey irishmen’s club sandwich in a glass
Ginseng and Buttnut Licor D’Amor
M&M&M: M&M’s and Maledictine
Old Doc McIBS’s Blocked Intestinal Schnapps
Primo Placento, a wine for Today’s Mother
Uncle Bob’s Hard Gravy
Old Man Thymus’ Smooth Sippin’ Sweetbread
Black Mold Vodka
bubble gum bourbon
Gin with tapioca pearls
B&B&B — benedictine, brandy and BLUEBERRY GELATO
Benedictine & Balut
Anise & Ambergris Liqueur
Creme de Smegme
KKK Reserve: Kentucky Kracker Kooze

1. Ladies! If your man takes you to the sports bar section of the Napa Valley restaurant in Costa Mesa, California for that special night, you are entitled and encouraged to place him in a Yard-a-Pult and cut loose.
2. If you are a wonderliciously hot 19-year-old woman with legs from here to Sunday and perfect boobs and all the secret sauce, and if you say that a) you can’t wear miniskirts now because you gained 20 pounds at college and b) that you don’t get college because it seems to be all partying and shopping then you have become a STEREOTYPE and it’s time to turn back before it sticks and you turn into one of those people.
3. This is especially true when you are saying this to the other 19-year-old woman at the table who is going to the community college and waitressing to finance it.
4. I really like Hendrick’s gin.
5. I also really like Goat Gouda. However, I was scared by the ancient woman in the minidress at Trader Joe’s who seized on me as I was buying it to loudly explain three times that it was excellent Dutch Goat Cheese and she knew her Dutch because her mother was Dutch and the French can’t make cheese except for cooking but the Dutch cheese was the best, and she also used to have goats.
6. I am now sad because ranai revealed that one of the sandwiches at Panera has 2,750 mg of sodium in it.

..we have:

My New Rumsfeld Technique is Unstoppable!