chaptal presents us with Officer I have no idea why the gay sheep was in my truck.

1. There is no one named “St. Patty”.
2. If you are not an Irish Catholic, don’t say “Erin go bragh”. It means something political; go look it up.
3. If you are not Irish or Irish in ancestry why are you celebrating this holiday? Just drink and enjoy it, but please shut up about the leprechauns.
4. Green also means something political. Go look it up.
5. The last thousand years of war, religious hatred, more war, domination by the English, yet more war, starvation, terrorism, oppression, and still more war are not an excuse for Biff and Muffy to vomit green beer in the alley behind Humpy O’Farty’s Luck o’the Irish Chain Restaurant in Pinch a Log, Texas.

I’m going to wait until St. Olaf’s day and eat two pounds of herring and drink a barrel of gløgg.

Robert Blake is Bob Trout.

Chicken dicks are expensive! You can only get them from half the chickens. I have an important question for you: what’s “embezzling”? Sure, you know, that’s what Goths are good for! I’m not sure who the hell asked for a new Liberace. We were filling up our flasks before the ceremony, all in tuxes, and the sheriffs deputy shows up and says “Gentlemen!”

This is the absolute worst of the Denim Troubadour music. Let me explain to you how this guy got into the Pile High Club. She’s this sedate little Japanese girl until you get her near a seafood buffet and then she goes fucking feral. If you need help with that I’m moving out of state in a week, I’m jobless, and I have a really big metal flashlight. Sure she wants to be looked at; she just doesn’t want YOU looking at her.

After Twin Peaks some chords just belong to Badalamenti.

No fucking way was it a job interview. I walked in and there were ten chairs and a whiteboard, I just spun around and walked out. We play a game we like to call “cellphone or street lunatic?”.

I said you know, she will do anything for her friends and doesn’t give a shit about anyone who isn’t, and the people she dates aren’t necessarily her friends.

Oh he’s getting the asshole tax for sure.

The walking forest machine is Plustech’s best-known innovation..

Old meme apparently, but completely broke me:

Norwegians Do Bonnie Tyler with Appliances (Windows Media Video)

I liked it so much I extracted the audio, so you can carry the Scandihoovian Excitement with you everywhere:

Madness from the Far North! 4.2 MB mp3.

Talking to Jack about his time in China is interesting. The industrial boom towns have huge shiny hotels with no potable running water. Everything, absolutely everything is available if you have money. If you come into a hotel and they claim to be booked up, your best bet is to find a prostitute in the jazz bar and pay for her services; a room will then appear. The infrastructure is complete crap and the pollution is out of control, but there’s a Ferrari dealership.

Wealthy foreigners managing their local businesses should stay in their outsiders’ enclaves and not fraternize with the locals; they’re likely to end up beaten to a pulp or worse.

There’s a whole subclass of foreign bums; people who somehow got to Shanghai but ran out of money. They have enough to get by for a while, but not enough to leave. They hang around tea houses looking disheveled. Their eventual fate is not good.

A consultant can fly in, install a computer network, make $50K in a week, and fly out. The medical system is completely broken; there aren’t enough ambulances or hospitals. Don’t get sick there.

Welcome to the gold rush!

“Hollister” label sweat pants with name on the ass; emo-style spiked “punk” belt; Ugg boots; Costa Mesa Sharks t-shirt; neon green plastic bracelet; that hair.

less snark and more art under here