The Swiss Cheese Falcon

We’re about six weeks into the Great Swiss Cheese Shortage Mystery of 2008. Seriously the supermarkets around here have no swiss cheese.

The fancier places have better ‘swiss cheese’ and Gruyere, Comté, etc. But the big box supermarkets just don’t have it. Not in blocks, not sliced, not shredded.

Did a Swiss Cheese Container Ship sink? Are the Swiss Cheese Truckers on strike? WTF Kroger?

10 thoughts on “The Swiss Cheese Falcon

  1. All you need is some muenster and a small round cookie cutter. Wait, no, muenster is too soft. Hmmm… so is havarti. And gouda only seems to come in wheels. And romano is too hard. Okay, I give up. I’m not sure how to fake it.
    Oh! Provolone may work! Oh, and skip the cookie cutter and go straight for the 12-gauge of buckshot.
    I can’t say I’ve noticed any sort of shortage up here, but then I can’t say I’ve looked. We were at Trader Joe’s yesterday and went straight for the blocks of parmesan. Before that, it was a couple of weeks since we went grocery shopping anywhere besides the asian market (which does not, as I recall, stock cheese.)

  2. Speculation on Swiss cheese futures have driven prices through the roof. Regular supermarkets aren’t carrying them right now ’cause they know customers wouldn’t be able to afford it.

  3. Baby, baby, where did our cheese go?
    I’ve got some Jarlsberg here. It’s not Helveticish, but there’s plenty of holes in it. Wish I could send you some.

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