Woke up somehow hung over without having consumed any alcohol.
Cat barf on carpet.
First attempt to make coffee unsuccessful because I did not use water.
Opened cat food can in wrong direction so that minute particles of wet cat food went in my eye. Eye care advice: do not put cat food in your eye.
Inexplicable communication from government agency regarding money.
Rushed shower to meet friends for lunch. Therefore had not completely removed soap from hands before putting in contact lenses. Eye care advice: do not put soap on a contact lens and then place it in your eye.
Lunch with friends was good!
Santa Ana wind gusts to 60 mph. High tension lines flailing in traffic with arcing and explosions. Trash cans bouncing down the street like Rover from The Prisoner. Big-ass brush fire up off Santiago with at least one severe burn victim.
Inability to clean house; spiral of shame.
Kéan Coffee: Good coffee. Ibuprofen and ranitidine. LA Times food section full of inexcusably bad writing, particularly from S. Irene Virbila. I maintain that she is one of the Andy Kaufman clones or possibly a tulpa manifestation of the narrator of The Debt to Pleasure. Examples today:
A fresh spirit is blowing through the Paris dining scene… …A friend who loves wine told me about Le Villaret, a small bistro with stone and half-timbered walls in the the 11th arrondissement, Paris’ equivalent to Silver Lake.
Also, a recipe for Blanquette de Veaux (HOW MANY VEALS ARE TO BE USED?)
Another writer suggests fancying-up mac ‘n’ cheese: My personal cheese advisor Steven Jenkins, who wrote the definitive guide “Cheese Primer,” suggests bringing the dish up to 2006 cheese-aisle standards by using a fresh goat’s milk cheese, mascarpone, Gorgonzola dolce and a sheep’s milk cheese from Spain (manchego, Idiazábal, Roncal) or from France (Ossau-Iraty). The combination is almost other-worldly, much more nuanced than the predictable original.
Start the reactor.
Back to cleaning; spiral of shame deepens. Fortunately, maternal flight delayed from 7 until 10:30 pm. Then, flight delayed further. Uh oh, I know where this is going. Yep! The flight will now miss the curfew for SNA and be diverted to LAX.
Folks I’m going to drive into L.A. to meet a flight at LAX at 1 am now. I wonder what I’ll put in my eye first?
Avoid any contact with salsa prior to departure.
LikeLike
That icon with that response… oh dear
LikeLike
I used to have that album, ‘Songs About Irrumating’.
LikeLike
I enjoy driving the 405 in the wee small hours. If it was Friday I’d have liked to come with.
LikeLike
I do too, but only in the wee small hours.
Today’s spiral of shame from my perspective comes to you courtesy of one of my editors, who had me waiting outside Aliso Niguel High School all morning to “go find students to talk to” regarding freaking. Apparently, school dances are back on there. Funnily enough, nobody would talk to the crazed-looking 30 year old woman sitting by herself in her car outside an oversexed high school the same week a 31 year old teacher at Trabuco High was arrested for having sex with a 16 year old student.
LikeLike
P.S. – Do not touch your eye after touching an oversexed 10th-grader.
LikeLike
WHAT AWFUL THING DID YOU DO TO THOSE POOR KIDS AND WHY WEREN’T THERE ANY HOT 30 YEAR OLDS DOING THAT TO ME WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL? HMM?
LikeLike
Oh good old Aliso. It wasn’t you, it’s just the paranoia that develops when you go to school at the bottom of a prehistoric riverbed.
LikeLike
JESUS MADE THOSE BONES. TO TRICK US. IN THE LOVE OF THE LORD.
LikeLike
PERSONAL CHEESE ADVISOR!
LikeLike
2006 CHEESE-AISLE STANDARDS!
LikeLike
Can’t believe you still don’t have a “mancheese” tag.
LikeLike
Please do not put any mac in your eye that is not gussied up with 27 cheeses.
LikeLike
Even a quick lunch is a lunch well spent at the Lido!
LikeLike
so jealousssssssss.
LikeLike
inanity aside, i’ve had mac n’ cheese made that way, and it’s amazingly fantastic.
LikeLike
What is the wrong way to open cat food?
LikeLike
My eyes have been bothering me because of Santa Ana winds… Cat barf on the carpet… Almost daily activity now for us because our kitties have been eating the Christmas tree!
LikeLike
I’ve had the new and improved fancy-pants mac ‘n cheese and it really IS good! But, sadly, the best mac ‘n cheese I’ve ever tasted was made with Velveeta.
Cheese in a box.
On a shelf.
Forever.
LikeLike
Bad Haiku – You’ve Inspired Me
Cat barf on carpet
Santa Ana wind dried eyes
Can’t perceive. Toes do.
LikeLike
i am curious to know what has to say about that mac-n-cheese hack (as she is very knowledgeable in that particular culinary arena).
it sounds sort of good in theory, but can it beat the blue box?
LikeLike
i did the jalapeño residue on contacts once, second in place to the WRATH of the CAUSTIC BOTTLE BUSH last year. OW!
LikeLike