Michael Pollan calls their prose “supermarket pastoral”

From a nameless source, Whole Foods Market’s list of key words and phrases to use during an interview:

Above and beyond
Best practices
Brighter future for farm animals
Company with a conscience
Comfort, physical safety and health
Core values
Follow our lead
Giving our shoppers choices
Going the extra mile
Happy animals
Highest standard
Homework for our shoppers
Humane treatment
Library of best practices
Looking out for shoppers
Marks 25 years as an innovator leader
Natural environments, behaviors, needs
Open spaces
Peace of mind
Raising the bar
Relating with animals
Remaining true to our mission and core values
Repository for knowledge
Responsible tenant of our planet
Role model in industry
Strictest standards in industry
Top priority
World wide initiative

7 thoughts on “Michael Pollan calls their prose “supermarket pastoral”

  1. I’m to say each of those things when being interviewed?
    Problem is, at least here, the queue for jobs at the new Whole Foods is entirely occupied by people trying to jump ship from Wild Oats, which is the Chinese Sweatshop of high-end natural foods n’ snake oil shoppes.


    1. I think they are the words managers are to use when interviewing employees.
      Yeah, Whole Foods is apparently not a shitty place to work if you’re going to be working grocery. Around here the local chain, Mother’s, is a better bet for employees. But it’s like Starbucks. Everyone loves to hate Starbucks but if I had to pull espresso shots for a living I’d work for them. Charming indie coffee shop has no benefits and pays minimum.


      1. I dunno how good their health insurance is, but it can’t be much worse than mine is. I’d work at the ‘bucks.
        I don’t like starbucks for two reasons. 1) they are all the same and they’re everywhere and 2) the coffee isn’t that good.


  2. My kid applied at Whole Foods once. They gave her a personality test, and bless her heart, she answered everything truthfully. Of course that meant that her personality wasn’t a match for Whole Foods.


  3. “We’ve made it our top priority to embark on a world wide initiative, raising the bar in the way we relate to animals. The lighting in our meat section goes the extra mile in illuminating our open spaces, ensuring a brighter future for farm animals.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.