Spoiled? Via catamorphism

I got 25, and the threshold for “spoiled” is supposed to be 40. I still think I’m pretty spoiled, though.

Do you have:
(x) your own cell phone
( ) a tv in your bedroom
(x) an iPod
( ) a photo printer
( ) your own phone line

(x) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
(x) high-speed internet access (aka not dialup)
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
( ) dvd player in bedroom
( ) at least a hundred DVDs
(x) a childfree bathroom
( ) your own in-house office
( ) a pool
( ) a guest house
( ) a game room
( ) a queen-size bed
( ) a stocked bar
(x) a working dishwasher
(x) an icemaker
(x) a working washer and dryer
( ) at least ten things from a designer store
(x) expensive sunglasses
( ) framed authentic art (not lithographs)
( ) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
(x) a multi-speed bike
( ) a gym membership (at Berkeley, it’s pretty cheap)
(x) large exercise equipment at home
( ) your own set of golf clubs
( ) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
(x) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
( ) your own pair of skis
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
( ) a neighborhood committee membership
( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
( ) wealthy family members
(x) two or more family cars
( ) a walk-in closet or pantry
(x) a yard
( ) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
(x) good credit
( ) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
( ) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
(x) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
( ) a stock portfolio
( ) a passport
( ) a horse
( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
(x) private medical insurance
( ) a college degree, but no student loans

Do you:
( ) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
(x) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
(x) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning)
( ) go on weekend mini-vacations
( ) send dinners back with every flaw
( ) wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
( ) have a job but don’t need the money OR
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner

Are you:
( ) an only child
( ) married/partnered to a wealthy person
( ) baffled/surprised when you don’t get your way

Have you:
( ) been on a cruise
(x) traveled out of the country
(x) met a celebrity
( ) been to the Caribbean
(x) been to Europe
(x) been to Hawaii
(x) been to New York
( ) eaten at the space needle in Seattle
( ) been to the Mall of America
(x) been to the Eiffel tower in Paris
( ) been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
( ) moved more than three times because you wanted to
( ) dined with local political figures
(x) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast (in any country)

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
(x) take riding or swimming lessons as a child
( ) attend private school
( ) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you

25 thoughts on “Spoiled? Via catamorphism

      1. Those copy editing marks make me break out in a cold sweat. I’m so glad copy editors went the way of the dodo when the Internets arrived… now I can use… all the elipses I want.

  1. i got 22 and don’t feel spoiled, but i don’t think this is geared towards adults with jobs who live alone (my own phone line? i have one phone line in the house, so yeah). and i grew up in new york, so got a few points just for that.

    1. It’s odd because of that and “child-free bathroom”. Maybe it also refers to have a phone line the kids don’t use? But that seems like an impossibility.

      1. yeah, it’s pretty skewed. having a working washer and dryer is hardly in the same league as having a trust fund.

      1. On the other hand, the test does cater to someone already at a certain level of things.
        Just brings to mind yet another recent New Yorker article (the magazine whence all my ideas originate) about how poverty is measured. There’s a lot of movement behind the idea that the effects of relative poverty are more deleterious on the individual than the effects of absolute poverty. I partly agree and partly have to say “that’s hogwash”

  2. I got 28, and I admit I’m spoiled only in that I’m way past my “use by” date.
    If my life is one of being spoiled, well, lemme tell ya, it sure isn’t all that.

  3. 19.
    Do you have:
    (x) an iPod
    (x) high-speed internet access (aka not dialup)
    (x) at least a hundred DVDs
    (x) a childfree bathroom
    (x) a queen-size bed
    (x) a working dishwasher
    (x) framed authentic art (not lithographs)
    (x) large exercise equipment at home
    (x) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
    (x) good credit
    (x) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
    (x) a passport
    Do you:
    (x) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
    (x) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
    Are you:
    Have you:
    (x) traveled out of the country
    (x) met a celebrity
    (x) been to Europe
    (x) been to New York
    (x) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast (in any country)
    Did you:

  4. Some of these things are age relative.
    For example, I have a mutual fund portfolio. I’m just 40, which means there’s a good chance the Social Security trust will have been completely raided by the time I retire, which is frighteningly soon when you’re 40. Damned fscking straight I have a brokerage account. I have three, in fact— one for the 401K program, one for the IRA that has my Enron 401K rollover, and one for my current employer’s stock program. On the other hand, if you’re 20, then having a stock portfolio might be a bit on the indulgent side.
    Do I feel spoiled? Hell yes. But, ask me again in thirty years when I’m too old to work and living in a shipping container because I have no pension and my 401K was obliterated.

  5. OK, I take it back. I am spoiled. I couldn’t get the remote for the TV in the bedroom to work, so rather than actually getting out of bed to change the station, I got out of bed to first, look for batteries, and second, to grab another remote from another room to accomplish this feat.
    I found the batteries, amazing in and of itself, but only after getting both remotes to work. Apparently not only do I have a life, I have a spoiled one.

      1. LOL, OK, you’ve got me there. However, had I not found batteries, I was very close to ordering stuff online that I didn’t need so I wouldn’t have to pay a delivery charge for the batteries I did need.
        That doesn’t necessarily make me spoiled either, though. I mean, I would eventually need the stuff. Sort of. Lazy, well, uhm, yeah 🙂
        Forget it, I really am spoiled 🙂

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