Psychopathic Parking

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Psychopathic Parking, originally uploaded by conradh.

For some folks it’s not enough just to buy the F350 Super Duty truck. Or to buy the crew cab version. Or to get the “FX4 Offroad” package, lift it, and load it up with accessories. No, the important part here is causing a confrontation of some kind, using the truck, so that there can be some manhood and throwdowns and getting up in someone’s grill, as they say. A good way to do this is to take two parking spots in a suburban parking lot where you don’t belong, when all the other trucks are at the far end of the lot because their drivers were grownups.

18 thoughts on “Psychopathic Parking

  1. To look at it another way, instead of “protection parking” it could be “well I’ll just stop here so I don’t hit the curb”

  2. Here’s what I do. In my glove compartment, I keep a notepad and a small container full of a water/yellow food coloring mix. When I see someone with a shiny new big farm car parked like that, I write a note that starts something like: “Dear Big New Shiny Farm Car Driver: You park like an ass. Go back to your farm.” At some point, I sprinkle some of the yellow fluid on the note, not so much that it’s drenched but well enough that it’s pretty well stained. I do this so that the the final line of the note makes sense: “In case your wondering what that stuff is all over this note, I peed on it.”

  3. I think it’s obvious that the only way the driver can detect that he is bound by two lines from that altitude is to park over a middle line. If he parked properly there would be no way to determine he had done so from up there! I also think that this restricted visibility argument is sufficient to prove the vehicle is not road-worthy and should be banned inside the city limits.

  4. Once upon a time, a suburban did this in my friends apartments space deficient parking lot. Ironically they had about 5 harvest crusade stickers and the family of Jesus fish and a WWJD sticker. I then wrote the note “I am sure that Jesus would be more respectfull and not used mulitple parking space. The Baby jesus hates bad parkers. Godbless, a Concerned Christian”

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