via Strange New Products: H2OM

So, you know, bottled water. Most of it is somewhat-filtered tap water. Gotta have a gimmick to sell it. Sometimes they put vitamins or electrolytes in it, not a bad idea. Sometimes they put caffeine or a little bit of fruit in it, okay. Sometimes they claim they’ve put oxygen in it to make you more oxygen-y, which is pathetic. Or they just want you to like them, so they put a picture of someone nice on it.

And then there’s water that’s been… …liked. The good folks at H2OM Water sell “Water with Intention”.

You all may remember an insane Japanese man who says that water changes when you think nice thoughts. “The Hidden Messages in Water”, etc. He was in that movie “Do You Fucking Expect Me to Believe This Shit” or whatever it was called. He’s an affable lunatic. Mix affable lunacy with marketing and you have our next Dr. Bronner.

Inspired by these studies, H2Om was created. A crystal clear natural spring water brand infused with the power of intention through words, music and thought. We gratefully offer you an interactive invitation to drink in and resonate with the vibrational frequencies of Love and Perfect Health.

Now absolute purity comes in Five Fantastic Infusions

NOW AVAILABLE:
LOVE
PERFECT HEALTH

COMING SOON:
WILL POWER
PROSPERITY
and
GRATITUDE

I’m glad they’re coming out with the gratitude one, because after I’ve got love and perfect health I’ll be needing to feel more grateful.

Reading their infusion process, it seems to consist of 1) picking out a label color and 2) playing music at the water in a warehouse.

Science was cool, wasn’t it? Man I’m nostalgic already.

13 thoughts on “via Strange New Products: H2OM

  1. There actualy is some factual evidence to support “Mr. Crazy Japanese man”‘s claims.
    ( http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0966531248/ref=pd_sim_b_3/104-5280239-8868758?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=130 )
    The only problem I have with the bottled water is that you really can’t protect the water from negative energies once it leaves the warehouse and is exposed to the overwhelmingly negative thought processes of the general population.

    1. I can’t follow you there with the water crystals. It would take lots and lots of replication by less crazy people for me to cast aside, you know, physics.
      Good point on that negative energies thing. A week in the Warehouse of Love and then off to the I-5.

  2. ya, i started to read the hidden messages in water because of my obession with quantum physics. it started out ok, then it got…weird.
    i understand the music thing and the whatnot, but im not down with the “labels”.
    i dont think i will buy that water, ever, however. i would rather just pour a glass water and give it a hug.
    the shit people will buy…OH WOW! dog poo in a box!!!

  3. Well, you know— they considered constructing a brand identity around how their water is worth braving enemy snipers to obtain it, but it didn’t focus group very well.

      1. Re: FREEDOM WATER AND GOD WATER
        I am about to be thinking positive energy thoughts about my vodka. OOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

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