Apparently people are mummifying themselves with air conditioners and doing a poor job of it (smell of death, etc.).
Had you considered going into business as a Preservation Consultant? You could make a nice living and Give Back to the Community this way, and get the Mummyship a new set of tires or whatever it needs.
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Egyptian Book of the Doh!?!?! Bwahahaha
I have heard about this mummification. I find it hard to believe that there was no Bjornix involved. But maybe it was a case of adipose mummification. Perhaps humans have stopped rotting. No, anyone in emergency services will tell you this is not true. But what if there is a mummification syndrome spreading. Hmm.
But very likely, yes, we can help! With the patented solvent-bitumen mixtures, we can make a cleaner, a more flexible mummy, one that waits patiently for the bus, keeping hands to the self, no groping or pushing, smelling positively sweet as the Nubian Queen of Kemet.
And I hear that some of your fantasy football fans are excellent subjects for this treatment. They are already used to the aesthetic distance problem. If we could taunt them slyly into the afterlife, they could run simulation forever in natronic circuitry. What say? Do we have a plan? Mummyship needs a new quantum froth gasket.
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Wow, kismet… 🙂
I was just getting ready to to write an entry about mummy bear:
http://kids.summum.us/mummybear/
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Well, it would have been fine – and was for 2+ years – had the A/C not gone out and/or someone fixed it right away…
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