1. The Disc
2. The News Story

   Or all the hilarious BS from these guys is under the cut

I bought the wrong replacement carafe for my coffee maker today. This is a consumer crisis because I am addicted to coffee like you would not believe and I only have this tiny little Bodum which I must detonate like dynamite several times to get the monkey on my back to sleep. This is a tiny problem that affects me more than it should.

My shrink thing was excellent today. This “EMDR” thing is actually starting to show results; I’m able to get more done and I’m less weepy and pathetic. Let’s hear it for Science.

Does anyone know anything about language courses on audio? I’d like to learn more Spanish and I can’t really swing the night school thing. Recommendations cheerfully accepted.

“Asian pears” are really, really good.

Can I be Umberto Eco when I grow up?

But this is just too effing stupid.

T BLOGGERS NO ONE CARES. NO ONE. REPEAT, NO ONE AT ALL.

Who’s going with me?

Bird Flu Likely Jumped Between Humans Last Year
Sun Jan 23, 2005 10:39 PM ET

By Gene Emery

BOSTON (Reuters) – A fatally ill Thai girl probably spread deadly bird flu to her relatives last year in what would mark the first documented case of human-to-human transmission of the feared virus, medical investigators said on Monday.

But they said there was no evidence that the H5N1 bird flu virus, which infected 44 people in Asia and killed 32 of them last year, has found a more efficient way to infect humans — although the threat remains of an influenza epidemic powerful enough to rival those of 1918, 1957 and 1968.

“It was reassuring that no further transmission of the virus has been detected,” said a team led by Kumnuan Ungchusak at the Thai Ministry of Public Health in Nonthaburi.

The pants of me have been scared off.

http://www.walmartfacts.com/

Right, guys.

http://www.walmartfacts.com/associates/their-own-words.aspx “Mr. Swenson said if I said anything wrong they’d cut off my son’s other ear, too.”

http://www.walmartfacts.com/keytopics/ # we didn’t do ANY of these evil things!

Good lord, 1.2 million people work in this cheerful shithole.

This just in from our favorite vibrator-melting patio pal. Special bonus points for “David Geffen School of Medicine”

Doctor Discovers the ‘Orgasmatron’
Physician Working with Pain Relief Device Stumbles Upon Delightful Side Effect

Dec. 29, 2004 – While Dr. Stuart Meloy was working on a new device to treat chronic pain, he was surprised to discover it could also bring pleasure to his female patients.

While Meloy, an anesthesiologist and pain specialist in Winston-Salem, was putting an electrode into the spine of a female patient with chronic back pain, the woman reported a decrease in her pain and a delightful, but very unexpected, side effect.

Men now even less useful

Most loathsome 2004.

I met a nice young woman tonight, 18 years old and going to both high school and community college. Her boyfriend is a Marine and he’s in Fallujah. I wonder if he’ll come home? And what he’ll be like? I hope it all turns out okay but it’s a heartbreak.

I was listening to Guadalcanal Diary’s fine serial killer song “Please Stop Me” and I realized that my favorite line in the song, which is “Find yourself in Georgia with a pitchfork through your head” is not on the album version. Either they only did that line live, or I invented it. I sure hope it’s the former!

WORD SUBSTITUTIONS:

Substitute “lunch” for “love” in all pop songs.

Substitute “bozo” for “cyber” everywhere.

Substitute “emo” for “evil”.

I’m off to watch Resident Emo and have some bozosex.