cellphone, teflon bullet, bag of blow, coke whore, motel room

asshole plumber, useful friendly carpet guy with loud machines and bad news, not enough three prong plugs, cat going insane, extended family visiting and being neurotic, Thanksgiving with me responsible for food, work making me push individual untagged files to servers without QA because frontend fuckup, no shower for 2 days, blowjobs, suicide, Heil Hitler

22 thoughts on “cellphone, teflon bullet, bag of blow, coke whore, motel room

    1. Man, he’d love that too. But I’m sure he’s having a nice weekend with Mary up in Wildomar watching the dogs rip weasels in half.

      1. I bet he could find meaningful and lucrative work just renting himself out to bedgraggled folks on the holidays. “If you need anything from me talk to Bob. He’ll sort you out. I’ll be in the Colouring Room with a bottle of sherry.”

    1. Re: p.s.
      They do release a good set of matching gift items for Useful Friendly Carpet Guy Day. I think they got Martha Stewart in on it as well.
      I hear the plans for International Blowjob Day got stuck somewhere between management and marketing.

      1. Experimental apple pie with honeyed goat cheese. We’re going to a potluck at my friend Dan’s house. Dan’s a crazy bloodthirsty cook; everything’s got meat. I’m looking forward to his trademark mac and cheese with bacon.
        You remind me of Dan in some ways. I think that’s part of the reason I wanted to be your friend so quickly.

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