I’m in the process of donating some cash to Doctors Without Borders and filling out my personal info. I have to choose a “Title”, meaning my salutation. The number of possible salutations in the drop-down menu is insane. Shall I be Mr. and Mrs. Rabbi? Sheik? Sergeant-at-Arms? Reverend Mother?
— please make a selection — Abbot Admiral Admiral & Mrs. Admiral & Mr. Admiral (Retired) Alderman Ambassador & Mrs. Ambassador & Mr. Assemblyman Assemblywoman Attorney Attorney & Mrs. Attorney & Mr. Bishop Bishop & Mrs. Board of Directors of Brigadier General Brigadier General & Mrs. Brigadier General & Mr. Brother Cantor Cantor & Mrs. Cantor & Mr. Captain Captain & Mrs. Captain & Mr. Captain (Retired) Cardinal Commander Commander & Mrs. Commander & Mr. Chaplain Chaplain & Mrs. Chaplain & Mr. Chief Colonel Colonel & Mrs. Colonel & Mr. Colonel (Retired) Committee Committee to Re-Elect Commodore Commodore & Mrs. Commodore & Mr. Congressman Congressman & Mrs. Congresswoman Congresswoman & Mr. Corporal Corporal & Mrs. Corporal & Mr. Countess Co-Workers at Co-Workers in Co-Workers of Dame Dr. and Mrs. Deacon DEACONESS Deacon & Mrs. Deacon & Mr. Dean Dean & Mrs. Dean & Mr. Director The Duke & Duchess of Dr. Dr. and Dr. Doctor & Doctor Dr. & Mrs. Doctor & Mr. Doctor & Ms. Doctor & Reverend The Duke & Duchess of Duchess Duke The Emperor & Empress of Emperor Empress Ensign Ensign & Mrs. Ensign & Mr. The Estate of Friends & Associates at Faculty at Faculty & Staff First Lieutenant Foreign Ambassador Friends & Neighbors at the Friends & Classmates Friends & Co-Workers of Fleet Admiral Fleet Admiral & Mrs. Fleet Admiral & Mr. Priest Friends at FRAU Friends in Friends of From the General General & Mrs. General & Mr. “General, Retired” Governor Governor & Mrs. Governor & Mr. The Honorable The Honorable & Mrs. The Honorable & Mr. The Honorable Judge Judge & Mrs. Judge & Mr. Justice Lady Lord Lord & Lady Lieutenant Lieutenant Colonel Lieutenant Commander Lieutenant Commander & Mrs. Lieutenant Colonel & Mrs. Lieutenant Colonel & Mr. Lieutenant Colonel (Retired) Lieutenant General Lieutenant General & Mrs. Lieutenant & Mrs. Lieutenant & Mr. Mrs. Madam Major Major & Mrs. Major & Mr. Mr. and Mrs. Master Mayor & Mrs. Mayor & Mr. Mayor Members of Messrs. Major General Major General & Mrs. Major General & Mr. Miss Misses Mademoiselle Madame Master Sergeant Master Sergeant & Mrs. Master Sergeant & Mr. Mother Monsignor Most Reverend Mister Mr. and Dr. Mr. & Dr. Mr. & Mrs. Mr. & Mr. Mr. and Ms. Mrs. Mrs. & Mr. Mrs. & Mrs. Mrs. & Ms. Ms. Ms.’s Officers of Parents of Pastor Private First Class Petty Officer Prince and Princess President President & Mrs. President & Mr. Prince Princess Professor Professor & Mrs. Professor & Mr. Private Private & Mrs. Private & Mr. Queen Rabbi Rabbi & Mrs. Rabbi & Mr. Rear Admiral Rear Admiral & Mrs. Rear Admiral & Mr. Representative Representative & Mrs. Representative & Mr. Reverend Reverend Doctor Reverend Doctor & Mrs. Reverend Doctor and Mr. Reverend & Mrs. Reverend Mother Reverend & Mr. The Right Reverend (Episcopal Bishop) The Right Reverend & Mrs. The Right Reverend & Mr. Senator Senator & Mrs. Senator & Mr. Senora Sergeant Sergeant & Mrs. Sergeant Major Sergeant Major & Mrs. Sergeant Major & Mr. Sergeant & Mr. Sheik Sheriff Sheriff & Mrs. Sheriff & Mr. Sir Sir & Lady Sister Speaker of the House Speaker & Mrs. Speaker & Mr. Staff Sergeant The Staff at The Staff of The Family of Trust of Vice Admiral Vice Admiral & Mrs. Vice Admiral & Mr. Vice President Vice President & Mrs. Vice President & Mr. Your friends at
Be My Blog 
Sir Faceto-Airmissile.
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WINNER
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Omission
They forgot Dons/Doñas/Donnas, Viscounts, Viceroys, Rajas, Grafs, Regents, Tribal Elders, Imams, and Mullahs!!!!
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Sheriff & Mr.
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jeebus. the faintest memories from childhood. it looks like “1988,” so i’da been ten.
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There’s Captain, Captain & Mrs., Captain & Mr., Captain (Retired), but what, no Captain & Tennille?
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I like Lieutenant Colonel (Retired), so I can write in about things I don’t like, just like on Monty Python. =)
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(Mrs.)
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i think the answer is obvious.
Rear Admiral.
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The Right Reverend as opposed to the Wrong One?
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Friends in SATAN!!!!!
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I like the ring of “Commander and Mrs.”
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I dibs “Most Reverend”
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No “Mugwump and Nancy”???
I may have to second that “rear admiral ” one in that case.
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Emperor & Empress
I would choose that, or possibly Prince and Princess…
mojo sends
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They have “The Most Reverend”, but they only have “Queen” and not “His/Her Royal Highness” or “His/Her Royal Magesty”! They don’t even have “His Excellency The Right Honourable” or “His Holiness”. I see they do have “Frau”, though. Well, “FRAU”, which makes me wonder if it was added when a FRAU got annoyed. Were I there I would add “Colonel (Southern US)”.
“The Emperor And Empress of” is a nice touch.
The one of these that came to mind when I saw this one is British Airways’s, but now I can’t find it, so instead here’s a list of styles from the Canadian protocol office. The standard salutations are great: “I have the honour to remain Your Holiness’s obedient servant” for the Pope, “I remain Your Majesty’s faithful and devoted servant” for the Queen, but a cheap “Yours truly” for the Governor General of Canada (but “Yours sincerely” for the vice-regal consort!). At least getting those wrong won’t usually start a war these days.
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FRAU BLUECHER
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WHINNEYYYYYYY
p.s. roll roll roll in ze hay…
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re
Rear Admiral, at your service.
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“DEACONESS”
what on earth is “Ms. ‘s”?
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I’m hoping it’s just a very poorly formed plural of “Ms.” and not some woman-snake hybrid.
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No question. Abbot.
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Title Shortage?
Curiously missing: “His Nibs.”
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Mister. You’re a mister.
Or Speaker of the House. When they ask you which house, you tellem
“DIS HOUSE!”
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“Committee to Re-Elect.”
Or “Alderman.” I was going to suggest EMPEROR, but then I saw Alderman, and an Emperor can’t hold a candle to a Chicago Alderman for exercise of arbitrary authority, corruption, and violence.
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Dr. and Mofo
Yeah. I was hoping for “National Security Advisor” to achieve true hubris, but “Alderman” is pretty damn good.
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Re: Dr. and Mofo
Of course, as Committee to Re-Elect, you can break into the DNC offices in the Watergate.
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ooooooooooo
DR. AND MRS.
DR. AND MRS.
DR. AND MRS.
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