door to door encounter

Ding dong. Open the door. There’s a high school kid there, well-dressed. He says he’s my neighbor from “down the street”. He launches into a description of how he’s in a public communication class and they’re supposed to meet friendly, nonviolent neighbors. I smile and fake a punch. He smiles back. Then he gets to the meat of it: he’s going to go overseas to intern at the BBC but must raise funds! Here we go. He’s not selling magazines! No, this is “worse”! They’re making him sell books. Now, lots of people are “saturated with books” so what they’re doing for us book-saturated householders is allowing us to buy books for others. In this case the “kids in Intensive Care at Childrens Hospital”. The pitch arrives at “what most people are doing” which is sponsoring a boy and a girl (nice way to set up two sales).

I politely refuse; I have to cut him off to do so.

He asks “Why?” He says that this is about public communication! I respond that he’s publicly communicated very well, but he’s not getting money from me today. Again he says “Why? I just want to know, so I can improve for the next people I talk to. What could I do differently next door?”

I said “You could find someone nicer than me.” There was a pause and I smiled brightly.

“That shouldn’t be too hard,” he said. Off he trudged.

9 thoughts on “door to door encounter

  1. I usually take the route you did, however we ended up getting the LA Times for 2 months because Craig was too nice to say no. 3 days a week there was an unopened paper in our trash.

    1. Essential SoCa training!
      You need to explain to him that the marketing arm of the LA Times is made up of vile, exploitive pigfuckers and no matter how nice the person they send to your door is it will be much less hassle to string them from the nearest tree or light them on fire than to take their ‘free offer.’

  2. I’ve always wanted to try to sell things to those people. Anything. Cans of sardines, used motor oil, whatever. Just want to tell them that they’re supporting my drive to get a new kidney for grandma, or helping to fight poverty in Brasil or something.

  3. I wish he lived in my neighborhood. It would be an upgrade.
    Although I’d much rather some little puke come to my door just begging for money than trying to sell me some book I don’t want in exchange.

  4. I’m kind of surprised you answered the door actually. Usually I play the not home, or just ignoring you even though I know you can see me. As we get lots of door to door surveys,Politicians and salesmen.

  5. Find someone nicer than me. That’s awesome!
    Can I use it?????
    I have been known to walk people out of the office and make them read the “No Soliciting” sign to me. Then I define what that means to them and invite then to not come back. Politely, and with a smile:)

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