Private Ryan and the Skyscrapers of Fire

Hollywood flagshmerz.

Hey I got a better idea. Let’s put Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal together in Kickboxer Under Siege: Nevar Forget 9/11. Or CGI John Wayne in a green beret into news footage and have him save the day. Or make an art film in which Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson walk around New York philosophizing while bodies and chunks of burning crap fall around them.

Oh oh oh.. here we go. Flight 93 on Ice! Someone get Wynn on the phone this was made for Vegas…

I hate you, milkman sixteen_shells!

6 thoughts on “Private Ryan and the Skyscrapers of Fire

  1. an art film in which Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson walk around New York philosophizing while bodies and chunks of burning crap fall around them

    I’d pay to see that.

  2. “A romantic comedy. With zombies terrorists.”
    Well, they’re getting Brit-schmaltz factory Working Title to make it, rather than Jerry Bruckheimer or anyone, so rather than a gung-ho God Bless America-singing Rambo/Bronson reprise, it’s probably going to be like the Bill Murray vehicle you mentioned. Only with Hugh Grant playing Tony Blair or something.

    1. Re: “A romantic comedy. With zombies terrorists.”
      If they get Jean Reno to play the evil Frenchman I’ll go see it in a theatre!

      1. Re: “A romantic comedy. With zombies terrorists.”
        So the effete, treacherous upperclass Englishmen of Hollywood film will be replaced by beret-wearing, baguette-wielding Frenchmen?
        That’s one thing Team America was missing: Evil French Baguette Ninjas.

  3. I can only pray that there are lots of long shots of sunsets over fields of wheat, of flags, of Liv Tyler, and of puppes at the end. Because, you know, I bet that’s what the families of the victims really need.
    Oh– and royalties for abusing the violent deaths and memories of their loved ones.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.