- The Condoleeza Hairdo Alert System has been activated. Please make a note of it.
- You may not have to constrict your anus 100 times in a row. Try improving your brain function with a cellphone ringtone! Ah, the Mysterious East.
- North Korean dictator/space alien Kim Kong Il remembers all the nation’s phone numbers, according to his press agency. Then again, there’s maybe 8 phones in the country. It could be a trick question.
- Here’s a weekly collection of misleading blurbs that may explain why a huge steaming pile of dog poop gets some good reviews.
- Extra multilink bonanza roundup: The captive audiences media industry is growing like crazy. Asshole companies who trap you in elevators or at the gas station are doing great. The next frontier is TV covering the floor too: FLASMA!
- To cheer you up from all that, here’s an unusual cat.