ATTENTION THE ENGLISH SPEAKING INTERNET

Most of you are white North American or European suburban or urban people in the 14-30 age range. Most of you who are not in this group are participants in the dominant monoculture and economic ruling class this group represents, which is why you’re using the Internet in the first place. The following is a list of things which you are not:

  1. Anime characters
  2. Rastafarians
  3. Hip-hop musicians
  4. Gang members
  5. The suffering masses
  6. Twelve-year-old Japanese girls (related to but distinct from #1)
  7. Beatniks

Please make a note of these things that you are not, and keep them in mind when posting prose on the Internet.

Otherwise, I’ll have to kill you real hard, right in the head.

Those of you who actually are beatniks, little Japanese girls, etc.: please carry on, sorry I had to say anything.

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