I had one of the worst dreams I ever get, last night. It was the one in which I prepare a party for someone and make this person gifts and the person does not show up, and later is derisive about my efforts. For some reason this hits me harder than any other emotion: the unwanted gift.
That appears to be the core of my self-dislike: I think that my attempts to please others are doomed, and that I’m going to be treated badly for trying.
In happier news, goat cheese pizza + Red Stripe is a nice meal.
A high school girl on the patio tonight said very loudly “IT GOT ALL OVER HER FUR PONCHO AND BURNED HER BOOBS.”
Here is a list of things that people around me love that I cannot get into, with rare and notable exceptions. Please note that this list does not represent a criticism or condemnation of any of its items. I suspect a deficiency on my part for most of these.
- Comic books
- Sad soft quiet indiepop
- Side scrolling video games
- 1970s nostalgia
- science fiction*
- Dave Eggers
- crafts of any kind
- holidays in the sun
- stoner rock
- alternative medicine
*I voraciously consumed sf and fantasy up until age 18 and then couldn’t read it at all. I still have a lot of affection for the genre but there aren’t more than two or three authors I can read. No idea why.