“Oh, you’ll be the death of me – ohhh,” gurgled H2O as the pert little particles slithered and slid. Ca2+ and Mg2+ really could fit in any nook and cranny…they caressed the water molecules wantonly.
H2O was getting harder and harder, trembling at the sensations the cheeky little ions were causing as they embraced his molecules, slipping right in between the hydrogen bonds between the molecules to reach that spot…
“Are we making you hard, water? Are we?” asked Mg2+ breathlessly. Ca2+ moved faster and faster, infiltrating water’s most secret places.
Be My Blog 
Here’s a gem:
from here
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You are a terrible person.
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They could have at least chosen a community name that was easier to pronounce.
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