I was just assaulted and forced into slavery by teenaged girls. Unfortunately it was just because they wanted to look at homestarrunner.com on my computer. One of them high-fived me for owning a Trogdor hoodie.
They are nostalgic for the 1990s. One of them told me how much she wished Matchbox 20 would get back together.
Sylvia has been feeding them caffeine and sugar. Evil Sylvia. They’re very nice kids but SO VERY LOUD.
Good news; they no longer puff air on your eye to test for glaucoma. They just pour some chemical on your eye and then point this little blue lightsaber at it for a while. Much better. My eyes have not got any worse yet, although he says that now I’m 40 I will start to experience “presbyopia” which is Greek for omg ur eyez r so old.
I realized today while feeling poor and being thankful for my side gig that I spend roughly 25% of my takehome pay on medical costs not reimbursed by anyone. I am well-paid and have less expenses than most people with my salary but it all disappears into the Health Hole. People who bitch about their tax withholding should try having a couple of fairly inexpensive (in comparison) chronic ailments some time and see how much they like it. Hello, middle-class rage!
Right below the thin, crunchy, tasty crust I am a boiling microwaved pie of shit. Things aren’t good.