Many of us enjoy egg nog during these winter holidays, whether spiked or not; the classic custardy beverage with its spicy yet comforting taste is a fave! You may or may not know about the other types of nog that have been tried with varying success over the years:
Beer Nog: A Canadian variant where beer is mixed into the nog instead of rum or brandy. Rarely seen outside Alberta.
Tofu Nog: Invented in Berkeley in 1973. It’s a health food store staple. Many are repelled by the gray, chunky beverage and its faint odor of patchouli, but vegan moms everywhere swear by it.
Kabbalah Nog: Costs $50 a glass and only available in Beverly Hills. Red string at bottom of glass. Later, clutching the toilet bowl, you’ll scream out the secret names of G-d.
Energy Nog!: Based on the traditional recipe but also includes caffeine, taurine, human growth hormone, chromium picolinate, and “flavors”. It’s extreme.
Hemp Nog: Despite what hemp activists may say, this will never supplant the original. Stringy, rough, and self-righteous. Only tastes good when you’re high.
Atkins Nog: The sweetener is replaced with turkey gravy. Only for serious dieters.
Philadelphia Pepper Pot Nog: Has tripe in it. Avoid.
Whether it is normal Egg Nog or the health food alternative, “Silk Nog,” it all still tastes like crap.
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Whether it is normal Egg Nog or the health food alternative, “Silk Nog,” it all still tastes like crap.
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Gotta get me some of that kaballah nog.
Maybe then I’ll pronounce JHVH just right and this universe will implode.
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Gotta get me some of that kaballah nog.
Maybe then I’ll pronounce JHVH just right and this universe will implode.
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NO NOG
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NO NOG
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you forgot PORK NOG!!
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you forgot PORK NOG!!
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You got your Huell in my nog…
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You got your Huell in my nog…
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