So, my friends Chris and John were happily asleep in their apartment in peaceful Laguna Niguel when some drunken Irish exchange students (ethnic stereotypes are go!) broke into their place, with THEM IN IT, apparently in the belief that “there were girls there”.
These guys then proceeded to drink all the beer, destroy some stuff like computer monitors, and decorate the living room with the spray bottle ketchup and mustard from the fridge. They then absconded, as John was waking up.
The only thing they actually stole was the cellphone. Which, of course, led to their doom; later on, the cops called it and their sponsor for the exchange program answered. “Hello? Yes? Bad people live with you. We are coming to get them.”
These guys are totally fucked now. After they pony up 10 grand or so for the damage and perhaps do 90 days in the OCJ, they’re back to Ireland in steerage, never to see our shores again. They are not the King of the World.
One of them apparently was being scouted by major league soccer too. Oops.
Finally: Even when I’ve been drunk, I’ve never felt the urge to break into an apartment because “there might be girls there”. What the who?