The BOFH Excuse Server has had its telnet interface inexcusably down forever. With the necessary and invaluable assistance of Torgo who actually knows how to program computers I dumped my command line excuse generator in favor of this one, and also set up an RSS feed of random excuses here: http://iggy.fringehead.org/cgi-bin/excuse.rss (for infobots, etc.)
Satisfying. Thank you Torgo!!