Tag: what

The new mail order brides are here!

Quotes from some that just arrived in my mailbox:

“The friend on correspondence. Clever, kind, idle time.”

“Difficultly about itself to write, as in me it is combined two persons: serious lady and very lovely girl. ”

“You were lucky once if you haven’t known me.:)”

“I love much to write in the questionnaire it is not meaningful, I AM MARRIED here not such unit therefore it was necessary to play a cunning trick)) and to write that lonely to whom interestingly write necessarily I shall answer)”

“Has finished university of culture and arts, by a trade the manager of tourist sphere; I like to learn for myself a lot of new and interesting; I am fond of a photo. I earn additionally model, I like to leave on a nature, I play in the big tennis, I am engaged in navigation”

“The attractive girl formed, with good sense of humour)) About itself it is hard to write..”

“The man of my dreams has soft adoring eyes,a loving faithful heart, and strong nice thighs. “

via Strange New Products: H2OM

So, you know, bottled water. Most of it is somewhat-filtered tap water. Gotta have a gimmick to sell it. Sometimes they put vitamins or electrolytes in it, not a bad idea. Sometimes they put caffeine or a little bit of fruit in it, okay. Sometimes they claim they’ve put oxygen in it to make you more oxygen-y, which is pathetic. Or they just want you to like them, so they put a picture of someone nice on it.

And then there’s water that’s been… …liked. The good folks at H2OM Water sell “Water with Intention”.

You all may remember an insane Japanese man who says that water changes when you think nice thoughts. “The Hidden Messages in Water”, etc. He was in that movie “Do You Fucking Expect Me to Believe This Shit” or whatever it was called. He’s an affable lunatic. Mix affable lunacy with marketing and you have our next Dr. Bronner.

Inspired by these studies, H2Om was created. A crystal clear natural spring water brand infused with the power of intention through words, music and thought. We gratefully offer you an interactive invitation to drink in and resonate with the vibrational frequencies of Love and Perfect Health.

Now absolute purity comes in Five Fantastic Infusions

NOW AVAILABLE:
LOVE
PERFECT HEALTH

COMING SOON:
WILL POWER
PROSPERITY
and
GRATITUDE

I’m glad they’re coming out with the gratitude one, because after I’ve got love and perfect health I’ll be needing to feel more grateful.

Reading their infusion process, it seems to consist of 1) picking out a label color and 2) playing music at the water in a warehouse.

Science was cool, wasn’t it? Man I’m nostalgic already.

more ether, george

I awoke in a black depression this morning, only to be jollied into a fit of giggling by the Aardvark’s Curious George Culture Wars post.

The other day we had discussed the difference between “cripes” and “yeesh”, both of which she uses as tags for posts on del.icio.us. It was my opinion that “cripes” could be used for any type of fucked-up situation, but that “yeesh” indicated not only that things were really jacked, but that someone was being a total lamer.

This is why the government needs to track us on the Internet, because the difference between a cripes and a yeesh is just the kind of subtle code that our biowarfare sleeper cell the terrorists use to signal their cohorts.

and our hair cut the wrong way

Cornmeal-crusted baked chicken breasts with black pepper; beet and tomato salad with garlic mayonnaise; steamed French beans with butter.

My cat is barking at me. I keep saying to her: WRONG ANIMAL.

atrustheotaku linked to the strangest book I’ve seen in a while, a turn of the century guide to some kind of jacked-up Japanese pidgin. My favorite page of his scans so far is the Review from the Native Press.

It’s so quiet in here I can hear my eyes moving like in a Ren & Stimpy cartoon.