Nobody came to my hamster’s funeral. I’m not angry, I’m just confused.

I went to the Detroit Bar tonight for the Interfaith Shelter benefit klikitak had organized. The DJ was good, the music wasn’t, and I met some nice people including a couple of her coworkers from the shelter.

I was one of maybe 10 people there who did not have rock ‘n’ roll hair. As usual, the musicians did not have rock ‘n’ roll hair either. Hipsters, etc., you know the drill.

I bought a ginger ale and tipped the bartender heavily.

There was a young woman there who was asking people about benefits, how to put one on, etc. This was because she too wished to put on a show like this. I believe her exacts words were “This is going to sound fucking dumb but I want to put on a benefit for my cat.”

Setting the cat itself aside for a moment (there you go, kitty! good kitty), there are two things that come immediately to mind.

  1. A benefit is something that is done for a community cause. Examples of community causes include: a charity; a political issue or candidate; a much-beloved individual in terrible distress; an institution of some kind in need of help. It’s bizarre that someone would not understand the social distinction between “benefit for Cat Rescue” and “benefit for my cat.”
  2. This isn’t a benefit for a cat; it’s a benefit for the cat owner. She needs money to pay for the cat’s treatment. She could sell her car. She could take two jobs. She could live on only rice and beans and one lime a week. There are lots of things she can do. She is currently out for the night at a bar drinking. This is not a social welfare situation. This is a “cat shower.” Why can’t she see that?

Bonus points!

  • She just got a degree in P.R.
  • She and her girlfriends have already raised $500 with a bikini car wash.
  • She was dressed all Flashdance.

Okay, I had to get that off my chest because I am a bitter asswipe. I do feel bad for the cat, though.