Pugs not drugs

The “johari window” mostly has complimentary or at least non-pejorative adjectives in it. This is good because people are more likely to be honest if they don’t have to avoid bad adjectives (capricious, drunk, totaly retarted) and partly because it’s less likely to cause fist fights.

Unsurprisingly the person with the least complimentary set of adjectives chose a pseudonym.

At the Ralphs tonight someone had brought an entire binder of coupons. It went on and on and on. There was only one checker. Coupons Galore was a large round young woman with a blonde ponytail, accompanied by a short round young woman and a large goofy guy with hair all over the place. They looked like they were on their way to an Insane Clown Posse show or just to get arrested. But she was a coupon nut. The poor checker was starting to lose his cool, and the line was stacking up. The guy behind me cracked “Coupons are illegal after midnight”. It went on and on. A few minutes later the dark-haired woman shot me an angry look and mumbled at me. “Eh?” I said. “It’s just COUPONS. What’s funny?” I said “I have no problem with coupons.” “Well what’s so FUNNY?” The guy behind me said “Coupons are funny.” She made him repeat it twice and then said “WELL WE COME IN HERE AFTER MIDNIGHT BECAUSE WE FIGURE NO ONE’S HERE.” She was looking at me for some reason, and I recalled now that she was glaring at me in the aisles earlier too. And now she was getting all street, yo, and throwing some Angry Mexican Girl vibe. “If you don’t give me any attitude I won’t give you any, how’s that?” I asked cheerfully.

Then another checker arrived and we all went to him. The end.

In the horrible mall down by where Bave and Dethya live, the one that looks like the Sherman Oaks Gallery turned into a half-solved Lament Configuration, there is an “italian” restaurant called, no joke, VER-SA-CHEE.

I love sitting at the bar at D’s chatting with Michelle. She’s so great.

more ether, george

I awoke in a black depression this morning, only to be jollied into a fit of giggling by the Aardvark’s Curious George Culture Wars post.

The other day we had discussed the difference between “cripes” and “yeesh”, both of which she uses as tags for posts on del.icio.us. It was my opinion that “cripes” could be used for any type of fucked-up situation, but that “yeesh” indicated not only that things were really jacked, but that someone was being a total lamer.

This is why the government needs to track us on the Internet, because the difference between a cripes and a yeesh is just the kind of subtle code that our biowarfare sleeper cell the terrorists use to signal their cohorts.

Area City Totally Like Manhattan Now

A reliable source has revealed to me the following facts about the Costa Mesa City Planning Commission:

  1. The area around the Lab and Camp nouveau malls is now known as SOBECA for the “South on Bristol Entertainment, Culture, and Arts” district. I’m sorry if you just spewed your coffee. I’ll wait a sec here while you mop up. Okay, ready? The website for this conceit is http://www.sobeca.net/ and you’re welcome!
  2. West 19th Street, home to numerous carnicerias, a lawnmower repair shop, a Smart & Final, one two rock ‘n’ roll bars, and a few good restaurants is now to be known as the “19 West District”. I think this weekend I’ll stop by Alejandro’s drive through and hand out corsages and/or cummerbunds to the customers that say “19 West” on them in Swarowski Crystal.

Spam just arrived

From: etheraealnetrlji@edirect-broadcast.com
Subject: The Moon And The Planets, Virtually
Date: January 28, 2006 10:56:40 AM PST
To: conrad@fringehead.org

The Galactic Government in exclusive partnership Ethereal Network Solutions. and utilizing their registration and registry systems (http://www.etherealnet.com) and the Lunar Embassy (www.lunarembassy.com), have entered into a historic agreement.

THE WORLD’S FIRST EXTRATERRESTRIAL INTERNET

TELL ME MORE!

via mendel Tattoos, brain surgery, and parachutes

Woman With Tattoo From Homemade Gun Got Sick

tatSPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Some women in Springfield are regretting their decision last week to get a tattoo from a door-to-door tattoo salesman. At least one person had to be hospitalized and the others face serious health risks.

Friday night, a man knocked on doors holding a tattoo gun and offering his services. Tamra Eason described the tool as homemade, but still agreed to pay for a tattoo. So did two other women in her apartment complex.

“It was wrapped with black tape, had a pin underneath it, had fishing wire going through it, you could tell it was a homemade gun,” Eason said.

The next day, Linda Falls passed out and had to be hospitalized.

“I passed out in the store and they said I should have it checked out,” Falls said.

All the women have an infection in the tattoo area and have been told to get tested for HIV and hepatitis.

The health department said it’s always worth the extra money to get a tattoo from a licensed professional with the right equipment and sterilization procedures.

tat2“Getting a tattoo is like a wound. There’s a risk of disease that may be long term or life threatening. It’s a serious decision,” said Jaci McReynalds, with the Greene County Health Department.

It is illegal in Missouri to give a tattoo without a license, so if several people file complaints with the state, the county prosecutor will pursue the case.

“Beware of deals in parachutes, brain surgery and tattoos,” said Miller Cotton, a tattoo parlor owner.

“We just wanted tattoos, and now we’re paying for it,” Eason said.

livejournal bug

When I get comment notification mail now, and I click on a link like “unscreen this comment” or “delete this comment” in the mail, it takes me to the old school url and I get a message that the url doesn’t match the journal owner. Then I have to do it all manually, instead.

Does anyone know where one actually reports bugs like this? The Support thing has never worked for me; I get a response six weeks later after it’s all fixed asking me why I’m reporting this because it’s all fixed.

Snakes finding out about shitty charter airlines

zebulon_y and I were going back and forth about the whole SNAKES ON A PLANE movie meme/joke/thing. I realized that there were important prequels, sequels, and spinoffs, including:

  • Snakes stuck in traffic on the 405 at La Cienega on the way to the airport
  • Snakes getting dumped in Salt Lake City by Delta and having to pay for the motel themselves because it was an Act of God and only getting a shitty little personal care kit and a free van ride out of it
  • Snakes taking RyanAir to Stockholm but going to the wrong airport that’s so far away from town that the four hour cab ride totally fucks them and they might as well have taken Lufthansa, plus they miss their appointment
  • Snakes stuck watching Serving Sara for 90 minutes with no sound, which is only marginally better than hearing the horrible dialogue
  • Snakes getting the shits something fierce after eating a ham sandwich from a dubious vendor at the Baltimore airport
  • Snakes arriving at Philadelphia only to find out that their luggage was sent to Pittsburgh instead due to a tagging failure and will not be available for two days
  • Snakes on a bus from Ontario to Santa Ana at 2:30 in the morning because they missed the last flight into SNA before it closed and got dumped 40 miles away