MEAT IS MURDER EVEN IF IT IS YOURS AND ALIVE.

If the Medical Establishment doesn’t get its ass in gear by about, oh, noon tomorrow and deal with my problem I am going to carry out the first completely left-handed mass murder in history. Currently I have had no useful help from my “primary” internal medicine physician, a physical therapy clinic, a neurologist, and a pharmacy. My best improvements have come from Home Science investigating my shoulder and what makes it feel better. I have, I think, successfully diagnosed a rotator cuff inflammation or tear. If they’d just fucking tell me whether it’s a tear or not I’d write them a check.

Last week the neurologist, who is currently “investigating” me and ordered the MRI, was out of town. No one told me this and I was leaving increasingly testy messages on his scheduler’s voicemail. She didn’t call me back. Finally I called the internal medicine office, because he’d said: If they don’t call back, don’t worry. The doctor is great but the office is a nightmare. Call me. Two minutes after that call, the schedule for the neurologist called me back. Why is this all being done Soviet style?

Currently I am self-medicating with alcohol. Yes, I know that’s stupid. Tomorrow I shall explain to any doctor who answers or returns my calls that I am sliding into Under the Volcano and I need either medically approved relief or a plan for fixing the problem: preferably necessarily both.

Otherwise I will show up wild-eyed and unshaven at the emergency room demanding some combination of opiates, steroids, acupuncture, inaccupuncture. sodomy, and surgery. I’ve had it! So, it’ll be fixed I’m sure.

Finally I’d like to say that I have only been reading back a screen or so a day of the LJ because after I’ve done work and blathered my own posts and had 8.9 margaritas and hugged the cat I still can’t do that much web browsing without flailing and moaning in pain. Yes, that’s self-pity. Yes, it’s for real.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: bodies are overrated.

And this just in…

From our “Christ, what an asshole” desk here’s the promo copy for 24K Entertainment, who are inexplicably arriving here in Costa Mesa.

This is what a club DJ sounds like when he gets big, big dreams. He sounds like J&H Productions:

Today, 24K emphasizes an energetic, upscale, social nightlife environment for people who enjoy lavish extravagance. With its marketing debut as a nightlife promotion, 24k offers décor and ambience touched with golden accents, elite dancers and a socially exclusive environment. The 24k nightclub is currently in negotiations to expand its nightlife marketing promotion into major metropolitan cities domestically and internationally in select established venues. This expansion will lead into the premiere of branded 24K product lines including bottled water, energy drink, liquor, monthly magazine, calendars TV & radio productions and a 24K sportswear line for men & women.

AND IN THE STADIUMS AND COLISEUMS PERTAINING TO THE LABEL INDUSTRY AND MAJOR PERFORMING ARTISTS SUCH AS

GONE VIRAL IN THE WILD FRONTIER OF YOUTH ORIENTED ONLINE MARKETING

Here is a paragraph from TechCrunch today:

Sprout Commerce, the company behind MyPickList, has launched a new product today, called FavoriteThingz. A widget for social networking sites like MySpace, FavoriteThingz lets users identify their favorite bands, movies and other branded products and display those brands in a nice looking slideshow. Their readers can click through to purchase the same goods and affiliate revenue is split between FavoriteThingz and widget publishers.

You can’t say that paragraph without your soul leaving your body, so I don’t recommend reading it aloud. I’m sure glad that I will be allowed to display my favorite branded products and split the revenue with someone for displaying my favorite branded products on branded websites with co-branding.

Here is the second paragraph of that article:

After identifying a product category, users select between hundreds of bands, for example, with press photos to display and affiliate revenue percentage listed next to each. Widgets can be customized a bit, which is liable to be appealing. Press photos can also be replaced by any image you chose – which seems like a branding disaster waiting to happen.

Oh it sure does. Wait until the Somethingawful Goons get hold of that. Goatse always wins, and half the Internet is going to end up joining the Lemon Party. I am glad, though, that I’ll be able to choose from musical artists by affiliate revenue percentage just like the big record companies do, instead of just doing something stupid and Web 1.0 like listening to music I like.

I’m going to skip a paragraph here and go right to the end:

Will this type of service take off? Sprout Commerce and many other people think that social commerce is set to be big in the future, not because of the affiliate revenue it generates for users but because of the existential opportunity to associate ourselves with brands. Sounds pretty vapid to me, but if brand association is an important part of being a teenager then FavoriteThingz could be a winner at monetizing it.

This service is easy to use and the widget can look quite nice. Its success will probably come down to marketing. Who can guess what will go viral in the wild frontier of youth oriented online social networking?

I already have a lot of existential opportunities. I can, for example, die. Also I can reinvent myself consciously in every moment in a world without a priori meaning, without God, without others. But in the end, as Kierkegaard and Camus both said, it comes down to marketing.

The last sentence of the article is also, of course, the last sentence in Beckett’s Happy End. Or at least it should be.

It’s time to ring some changes

Custom Friends Groups I Inhabit (known): Well at least the ones that stood out as interesting. People who list me but don’t show up as reading me at all either have me in a “never again goddamnit” group or block referers or web bugs, which is fine. I prefer mystery to rejection. 🙂

WTF
nogramandbs
motivation neutral
IRL2
white guys (god bless gordonzola for cracking me up each time with this)
The Rest
salon
busy
read two
the kids
Elite

It was good to see zebulon_y, and twice! Plus, I ate Mexican pork tonight. Mmmm. Playing phone tag with others, hope this pays off.

I am still sleeping outside at least half the night. What the fuck is this, Mississippi?

The engine of communication with others isn’t working well. There are some obvious current reasons for problems, but in general it needs overhauling. I have parts all over the garage floor and I’m looking at the schematic thinking: what needs changing? This thing doesn’t work for shit.

You know how you get little medical problems that pile up? The ones that aren’t going to kill you, and you can live with them basically, but they’re annoying. An itchy spot, a recurring cough, an oof or a twinge or an oolph my stomach. All of those hit me at once this week. It’s what my Dad called “being pecked to death by ducks.” I blame the heat, double extra neurofeedback, going off two antidepressants at once starting with a 50% reduction, and the Demiurge.

Tomorrow’s plan: as little as possible, unless it’s reading or meeting up with nice people who like me.