I know that “Tuscan” just means “you just paid too much for generic Italian-American glop,” parallel to “Southwestern” and “Provençal.” I also know that people want to feel that they are eating light even when eating hyper-processed poison from the freezer case.

But nobody wants to eat anything called a “veggie bake,” even if it’s artisanal, Szechwan, uncured, extra-virgin, and triple-distilled.