Tag: celebrities

He put his disease in me

David Lynch is doing a medicine show tour for the TM people with a stop in my town. Lynch is a great film director and a fascinating weirdo, and just watching him talk is a delight. I can’t stand TM, though.

Meditative techniques I think are awesome. Transcendental Meditation®, though, was the original expensive New Age cult that sold basic meditation through an authoritarian hierarchy. It faded from public notoriety after the 1970s but a core group carried on. Most notably, a physicist named John Hagelin ran for president in 2000 as the candidate of the “Natural Law Party”, which is a TM creation. Hagelin believes that world problems like war and terrorism must be solved by broadcasting peace consciousness from our brains while gathered in large peace-causing assemblies that will send loving energies everywhere. The best part of this is that it’s accomplished by “Yogic Flying” which is done by hopping into the air while sitting cross legged. His other plans for saving the nation and the world include legislating Vedic architecture for all buildings to bring us into harmony with Natural Law.

The Maharishi himself recently excommunicated the entire country of England from training and support because he… …didn’t like them. He is meanwhile planning a Peace Palace on a couple of islands off Nova Scotia that he recently bought.

I think David Lynch is a cool guy. I love his movies. I’m honored to have been the guy who took dictation for his comic strip 20 years ago. But I can’t go to this lecture. It’s like Tom Cruise shilling for Scientology almost. Sticks in my craw.

Their Thetanic Majesties Request

Edit: feisty_robot points out that this was originally a satire piece, and that the editors of the Toronto Fashion Monitor had been taken in. I guess they’re no longer the continent’s paper of record for me!

Every time he opens his mouth, he brings me joy, and I can forget the world’s cares for a few more moments. I had no idea that Brooke Shields had a multicentury career of evil behind her! I thought it was restricted to Blue Lagoon.

Scientologist Tom Cruise revealed that he is much older than the forty three years he has spent in his present body.

Tom Cruise noted that he is “old beyond reckoning.” What’s more, his current life is “probably one of the least satisfying” he has led.

“I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents, and developed cures for diseases,” said Tom Cruise.

Cruise said he became aware that he “had been here before,” when he read the complete works of Shakespeare in a month, despite being dyslexic, not long after dropping out of high school.

“Shakespeare was deja vu for me,” said Tom Cruise. “It was so cool. I felt as if I had seen his words already, knew them all by heart. Then, after I began studying scientology, I realized the words had come from my heart in a previous life. That’s why I say that as glorious and enviable as my present life is, making “War of the Worlds” and all those other great movies can’t compare to writing “Romeo and Juliet” or the sonnets.

In addition to recognizing his days of future passed in the works of Shakespeare and Bach—and in the achievements of Columbus and Napoleon—Cruise recognizes the continuing reappearance of “Anti-Thetanic forces,” such as Matt Lauer and Brooke Shields, with whom he has clashed in former lives.

http://toronto.fashion-monitor.com/news.php/Celebrity_Style/2005082202tom_cruise (via blogging.la)