Worst. Shoelace. Ever.

Here’s a really bad morning at a museum in Cambridge, England.

HOW TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE

DESTROY

I am going to this, and so are you. The L.A. show has Savage Republic, which is a worship object for me. I bet Blixa’s solo stuff is going to be enjoyably disturbing also. Shows in SD, SF, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver BC, even Calgary! Lots of variation in the stuff happening from night to night and city to city.

I wonder why F-Space isn’t going to Canada? Maybe they’re FELONIOUS.

I do like artnoise. And I’ve liked SR and Blixa for more than 20 years now, so it’s COMFORT NOISE for me now.

MEAT HELMET

I SAID: MEAT HELMET.

Pneumatic ‘air muscles’ control the helmet, forcing the user to eat at intervals specified by a CPU located on a belt. The on-board program sends out commands to an electronic valve, which controls the supply of compressed air to the air muscles. A keypad allows the user to punch-in the amount of calories about to be consumed (Big Mac = 560), where the program will calculate how many chews are needed to burn them off (chewing = 70 calories/hour), commencing the forced-chewing upon the user (8 hour workout!).

POLICE WHACK GIANT SNOW PENIS

I SAID, POLICE WHACK GIANT SNOW PENIS!!!!

Girls who are sad should take a pill

The best part of my occasional medication-checkup visits to the psychiatrist’s office is the brochures. No, really. The drug companies produce these things, which don’t mention any specific drug but urge you to deal with your problem. I’ve posted some pictures of swag and brochures before. Today’s offering is “Balanced”, a look at one housewife’s indoctrination in to the proper way to handle her problems. It seriously looks like that comic strip “Baby Blues”. Also, note older male psychologist authority figure and emphasis on Women Problems.

HE PAINTED DUDES MADE OF FOODS

Giuseppe Arcimboldo

vegetable man

acb finds Magritte’s underwear

The Null Device found this gem of scratched and layered advertising in the London Underground:

underwhat

Anastacia == pants

FRIEZE!

art cops IT’S THE ART POLICE!

Only in Italy would they have enough to protect and the will to care.

The TPC have recorded over 630,000 thefts in the past 30 years. They have recovered more than 185,000 art works and more than 450,000 archeological objects. They have confiscated over 60,000 fakes during the 1990s alone.

They’re serving in Iraq now too, trying to hunt down missing Mesopotamian artifacts.

The future tipple of bitter lesbian art students everywhere

littlefrida “In cooperation with the Frida Kahlo family estate, Dorado, Pizzorni & Sons, LLC Importers is proud to announce the launch of Frida Kahlo tequila. This tequila is superior to others because it is elaborated in small batches through a 100% natural, handcrafted and traditional process. We only use the finest quality blue agaves and natural ingredients,” said Jorge Gutierrez, President of Dorado, Pizzorni & Sons, LLC.

“It has been an exciting adventure to develop and launch a product that would characterize my Aunt Frida: her love for Mexico, her strength and her passion for life. Tequila, her favorite drink, accompanied her in the greatest moments of her life,” said Kahlo’s niece, Isolda P. Kahlo. “While searching in the region of Jalisco it was a unique opportunity and a great challenge to obtain the right quality, taste and pureness that would match Frida’s expectations. Always taking care of the finest details, Frida Kahlo Tequila is a Super Premium Tequila that my family and I proudly present to the world, at the level and quality of the tequilas that Frida would definitely expect from her favorite drink.”

Initially, Frida Kahlo Tequila will be launched in three major U.S. markets, including New York, Los Angeles, and Miami, as well as in Mexico, with plans to expand nationally in 2006.

Editor’s note: Frida Kahlo was an alcoholic who drank a bottle a day of tequila. Unsurprisingly, some people are really pissed off about putting her on a liquor label. Via the always useful AdJab.

Edit: namja provides us with their inevitable ad slogan: “Tequila Frida Kahlo: It’ll put hair between your eyes.”

Eagerly awaited preorder: The Book of Imaginary Beings

creatures The Book of Imaginary Beings, by Jorge Luis Borges, Peter Sis (Illustrator), Andrew Hurley (translator).

Borges is one of my favorite writers. Hyperintelligent, funny, bizarre, fantastic without being self-indulgent, cryptic without being annoying, calm. civilized, and an obsessive craftsman of words. I want to learn Argentine Spanish just to read him in the original, sometimes.

This work is a compendium of 116 imaginary beings from myths and stories, some well-known and others deeply obscure, some from traditions and others from more recent authors. It’s almost literally magical to me. If you don’t have the cash or the interest to buy it, there’s a nicely done web interpretation of the book. A sample: The Eater of the Dead.