joliet prison and 99 years, turn turn to the rain and the wind

Car Wash WIndshield

I talk back to the car radio a lot, particularly when it’s not making sense. Today I heard a commercial shilling for a local supermarket chain’s loyalty program. The pitch was that you were supporting local schools because they’d give the kids a pencil for every 400,000 cucumbers sold, etc. The ad was pure SPIN selling, starting with “Education is so important. Our schools need new books and new computers all the time so children can progress. And there’s something you can do to help!” At which point I yelled “YEAH, YOU COULD PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES!” That’s when I noticed that my window was opening and that the motorcyclist next to me was grinning at me.

Dinner: Chilled poached salmon with mayonnaise and dill; toasted pita bread with a dollop of hummus and fresh ground black pepper; caprese salad with fresh tomatoes on vine, fresh ovolini mozzarella, fresh basil, and good olive oil. Time to prepare: 15 minutes.

I was at Kéan for just an hour or so today, to cool off and slurp a cold coffee beverage. Rich unhappy people have such scrunched-up, sour faces even when they’re experiencing pleasures most of the world will never see. Looking dissatisfied when you’re having a dark chocolate mocha milkshake in an air-conditioned cafe in Paradise just after buying an iPod must be difficult, but they manage it.

At Trader Joes a plastic surgery disasters woman in her fifties was dragging her husband around hectoring him about their purchases. She’d perch angrily next to some item and pick it up: “Do you want these? Do you like yellow mustard? I like Dijon mustard. Do you want it? Are we going to get Dijon mustard?” He was a tired Tommy Lee Jones who didn’t say much except “Okay,” or “Go ahead.”

90 degrees and humid means that all the beautiful people were showing flesh today. Including the very genuinely beautiful ones and not just the ones who had purchased the standard of beauty as an aftermarket option. A six-footer surfer boy, all tanned abs and long bones and bleached hair-mp, was looking at frozen food next to a hourglass-figured blonde beach goddess with honey-colored skin and shockingly bright blue eyes. They were unaware that they were a Guess! ad because they were trying to figure out which kind of peas to get.

The flower shop next to Kéan has an appropriately fancy name, but their sign with their url on it looks like they’re selling the flowers eaten by a demon rather than those painted by an Impressionist. It’s not as obvious as “powergenitalia” but they should have realized.

I am currently maintaining crushes on at least three unavailable women. Go me!

In musical news, I’m going to see Steve Wynn this Friday night. It may well be a real Dream Syndicate reunion show of some kind. I have an extra ticket if you’re interested and can go with or meet me at McCabe’s Guitars in Santa Monica.

I have “Percy’s Song” as done by Fairport Convention in my head.

the flat foot floogie, vouty

Yep Roc Heresay, by Slim Gaillard

Yep ruk hu’reesee
Ku’bisinee e kubu’ba
U’lu hu’mish u mak voutee
Yep ruk hu’reesee
U luh mish wey u luh mish voutee
U luh mish u ruenimoa
Yep ruk hu’reesee
Ku’bisinee e kubu’ba
U’lu hu’mish uv oa voutee
Yep ruk hu’reesee
Oa voutimoa
Kibi’sini kibisee voutee kibisee voutee
Kibisee vuetee
Uee chiku chiku chiku chkie
La ho mak vuenimoa
Mu’saan bu or’uenee
Yep ruk hu’reesee
Ku’bisinee e kubu’ba
U’lu hu’mish u mak voutee
Yep ruk hu’reesee
Aluh mish vuetee u luh mish o’reenee
U luh mish vuetee u lu mi rueneemoa
Yep ruk hu’reesee
Ku’bisinee e kubu’ba
U’lu hu’mish u mak voutee
Yep ruk hu’reesee
U luh mish wey chilee un tu’meytoa saus
Ou voutee hu’reesee
Ku’bisinee e kubu’ba
U’lu hu’mish u mak vuetee
Yep ruk hu’reesee
Lu hom la ho mak votimoa
Ki’bisee ni kibisee voutee kibisee ruetee
Kibisee lam no ruenee ue o’ruetee
La ho vueteemoa
Ie suepu vueteemoa ku
U litul spies o mak vozee
Yep ruk hu’reesee
Ku’bisinee e kubu’ba
U’lu hu’mish u mak vuetee
Yep ruk hu’reesee.

Yep Roc Heresy (.mp3, 4.9M)

I can’t talk to her. She’s against shit she can’t even pronounce.

The Midnight Van

After last night’s fun, I went to bed at 6 am and slept until 2. The rest of the day was… slow. Fortunately nothing else broke at work. I was bummed at missing Nicole’s wedding, but there was no way that mission could have been accomplished without loss of life.

I finally dragged myself out of the house after dark and bought food, etc. I ended up at Ruba, which was full of weird ghosts of ten years ago. I don’t think I’d seen Sabrina since Indian Burial Ground Night at Totally Coffee. She didn’t acknowledge my existence, for which I am grateful.

Choice “Overheard at Ruba™” quotes:

“I live the same place she does. She has a nice rack. It’s been okay.”

“Oh, that Dennys. One of my best friends got busted for selling drugs to a minor there! It was awesome.”

“You and I have a lot the same background, but you’re good-looking.”

“You know her. She’s the racist secretary.”

“I know it was illegal before, I asked you how old is she NOW?”

“No, man, I can’t afford any tools. I just do shit to shit, you know?”

Ahh, Ruba.

It was 80 degrees F here at midnight with humidity around 50%. In coastal Orange County. I do not understand.

Dear Amazon:

I’m not into what you’re into. It’s not that I’m critical of your lifestyle; I just get my kicks from different things. I’m looking right now for one of those geeky weather things you put on your house and it talks to your computer and you have a weather station. That’s all. So, when you ask:

“Did you mean wireless leather station?”

The answer is no.

Best,

substitute

P.S. Out of sheer curiosity: I know about the leather lifestyle, but how is it wireless, or associated with stations? This is a new area of human sexuality to me.

drinking his blood-red wine

  1. I for one welcome our tiny military robot plane overlords. Hey, wasn’t one of these in Dune?
  2. As springheel_jack once pointed out, THE EMU WILL PECK.
  3. Poor Mike O’Neill. His friend wrote a pretty damned good poem for him, though.
  4. STOP THE PRESSES! Has been 80s politician walks out on has been 80s musician. Actually, don’t stop the presses.
  5. Here’s a really good reason not to show the whole world your internal numbers, especially if they’re sequential. You might, like, lose a war.
  6. Do not purchase unproven home health care equipment, especially on eBay.
  7. IT’S A FROG MUSEUM.
  8. The only thing funnier than the Rich Man’s Short Bus itself is the $50,000 Tonka falling apart on its own for no reason. A $15,000 Mazda doesn’t do that, guys. I’m just saying.
  9. Think! Is your conduct appropriate? Well, IS IT?
  10. Squid attack, squid attack get out of the water and don’t look back!

Academic freedom

Ward Churchill is not a likeable man. He also says unpopular things. And he may well not be a perfectly careful scholar or a star as a teacher. Most of his public persona seems well-tuned for annoying the hell out of almost everyone, and particularly for being a huge headache at the University of Colorado for everyone.

Unfortunately all of this has badly muddled the discussion of his academic trial and dismissal. Because his deliberately provocative political style hit the national media scene, he became an embarrassment to the University. He was then purged and his dismissal recommended by a committee of his peers at the request of the Administration. An unreasonable standard was applied to his scholarship. The microscopic attention and rigid standards used to convict him would in my estimation fire about ten percent of the nation’s tenured faculty, minimum. I say this as someone who grew up the child of a professor at a good university and has heard 30 years of watercooler talk about and by professors.

This was a political lynching. To draw an analogy, they treated him the way a really angry state trooper would treat someone who insulted him after a traffic stop. Let’s find out exactly what we can do to this guy: search the car, run all the computers, write up every possible traffic violation.

A number of academics seem to agree, thank goodness, and have published an ongoing petition. This isn’t some useless petitiononline thing, I think. I hope a lot of academics sign it.

At a minimum the University of Colorado deserves to be publicly shamed and blacklisted for this. At this point I personally consider them to be unaccredited.