FOLKS I’M SHOWING MY SUPPORT FOR THE OCEAN AND THE BEACH AND THE FISH AND THE WHALES AND THE SEA ANEMONES AND THE SURFERS AND THE LAUGHING, RUNNING CHILDREN IN THE WAVES AND OUR FUTURE ON THE PLANET BY PUTTING THIS ORNAMENTAL LICENSE PLATE ON MY PIECE OF SHIT TRUCK THAT GETS 14 MILES PER GALLON AND IS ENTIRELY EMPTY BUT EXTREMELY SHINY BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I ROLL!!!
DHS troll further identification via ljtoys
OrgName: U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service
OrgID: UINS
Address: Data Communications Section (HQTCM)
Address: Room 4206
Address: 425 I Street, NW
City: Washington
StateProv: DC
PostalCode: 20536
Country: US
NetRange: 161.214.0.0 – 161.214.255.255
CIDR: 161.214.0.0/16
NetName: INSINC
NetHandle: NET-161-214-0-0-1
Parent: NET-161-0-0-0-0
NetType: Direct Assignment
Comment:
RegDate: 1993-02-22
Updated: 1993-02-22
RTechHandle: BB232-ARIN
RTechName: Bean, Bob
RTechPhone: +1-202-514-4822
RTechEmail:
FIRST LINES OF SONGS: Identify them! And win nothing.
They’re all first lines, or first two. Name the song and (at least one) artist for fun and no profit. Not responsible for minor lyrical errors or pasting one of these twice. I still wet my bed. Cheese is made from milk.
Edit: Edited with successes so far
Dark alley, black star, four turkeys in a big black car
Brian Eno, “King’s Lead Hat”
When I’m alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall / In the back of my mind I hear my conscience call
LL Cool J, “I Need Love”
Shattered dreams, worthless years / Here am I encased inside a hollow shell.
Stevie Wonder, I believe when I fall in love with you
Another hungover morning in the bottom of the Black Lagoon
I once had a life, or rather life had me.
Funkadelic, “Can you get to that”
It’s that summer of the evening, get ready and roll the cassette
Billy Bragg, “Lovers Town Revisited”
Who’s that woman on your arm, all dressed up to do you harm?
Tired of all this crawling around / realising the joke was on us
Let us pause in life’s pleasures and count its many tears while we all sup sorrow with the poor.
Baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore, baby got big and baby gets bigger
Patti Smith, “Rock ‘n’ Roll Nigger”
9 to 5 and 5 to 9 / ain’t gonna take it, it’s our time
Ramones, “Airwaves”
Small town, bright lights, Saturday night; pinballs and pool halls flashing their lights
there’s a girl in my yard reading to me Tarot cards
What was sent to the soldier’s wife from the ancient city of Prague? From Prague came a pair of high heeled shoes.
Brecht/Weill, “Ballad of the Nazi Soldier’s Wife”
Have you ever had to ride in a light blue car?
Well I’m loaded and ready, calmly holding steady, looking for a sign to show me when.
Deep in the south of Texas, not so long ago
Laocoon and his two sons.
Lacy things the wife is missin’ / didn’t ask for her permission
No blind spots in the leopard’s eyes / can only help to jeopardize the lives of lambs, the shepherd cries
Wire, “Outdoor Miner”
We got the message, I heard it on the airwaves. The politicians are now DJ’s.
Re-Flex, “The Politics of Dancing”
Excuse me madam, you are standing in a non parking zone. If you don’t move that body I’ll be forced to give you a ticket.
Midnight Starr, “No Parking on the Dance Floor”
She gave me the queen, she gave me the king.
I hope it doesn’t show, it’ll go ‘way / It’s just a passing phrase, it’ll go ‘way
Sparks, “Angst in my Pants”
Today’s radio monitoring quote: Alfred E. Neuman in peril on the sea
Pan pan, pan pan, pan pan. This is United States Coast Guard station Long Beach with an urgent marine bulletin. The United States Coast Guard has received a report of a 28 foot pleasure craft named “What, Me Worry?” overdue on arrival from Catalina Island to San Pedro. All vessels are requested to keep lookout and render assistance as needed. This is United States Coast Guard station Long Beach, OUT.
TAGGING YOU!!!!
1. Type your first name into Google followed by “had better stop” . Then go to and post whatever you got as advice to the current question.
2. Open iTunes, put it on shuffle, and forward to the fifth song. Stalk the artist until arrested. If the artist is dead, stalk someone else, claiming that they are this person.
3. Reach for the nearest book you can find, open it to page 23, and tell others you have read it, although you have not.
4. Take the “Which fucking waste of time are you” quiz at QuizEnnui.com! [UNDERCONSTRUCTION.GIF]
5. Click here to put the “HOMOSEXUAL FAGGOTS ARE LOVE” banner on your site!!!
6. Take a picture of yourself in the bathroom mirror with a flash camera and then get your Sparklies Fashion Weather Bratz Trollz SouthPark avatar and then get this free Flying Spaghetti Monster banner and then drag them all to the trashcan and delete them forever and just go back to bed.
6. ADD YOURSELF TO THE LIST!!!! of people who have made this joke.
You know what I’m lookin’ at.

They sell this as a Teen Wolf shirt, but I vividly remember a college classmate who was blessed with very large and beautiful breasts who wore this, and that was before that movie came out. She certainly enjoyed the triple-takes she got on Bruin Walk this way.
What Are You Looking At Dicknose T-Shirt
Oh, I still have an extra Romp Star babydoll shirt for whichever one of you LADIES would APPRECIATE it.
YOU’RE ON NOTICE

I like this webtoy.
Why we fight?
B Ø N K
Going from a half dose of two antidepressants to no dose of any antidepressant is a ride. And by “ride” I mean “rusty Tilt-A-Swing-A-Clank-A-Whirl operated by carnies at the County Fair.”
I woke up at 3:30 pm today feeling hung over. The day went slowly for three hours while caffeine and my last remaining head pill (Adderall) took effect and I got some minor stuff done and dorked. I showered, felt better, and needed to go for groceries; my brother was arriving for a visit for a few days and a full larder was a necessity.
Then I went to Trader Joes to get food. As I was checking out my stuff I got the sweats, blurry vision, stomach upset, headache, and total exhaustion. It was like a sugar low plus jet lag plus the flu, all at once.
I made it home, stuffed the freezer and fridge things in their place, and told my brother and mom that there was easy food there for them to eat. I then drank a liter of Orangina and ate some yogurt and collapsed.
There’s a Dead Man’s Party in my hippocampus and you’re all invited!
Your tax dollars at work: DHS flamewarriors on the job
Sometimes the IP logging feature on LJ is a beautiful thing, especially when Homeland Security employees think they’re being all badass by flaming you for your political views from work.
Back to work, you. I pay you to beat up Mexicans and lose the city of New Orleans, not click around on the internet like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.
