Category: Uncategorized

They memorialized the guy with a picture of him drinking. It was unbelievable!

The thing is I would forget to breathe sometimes at night so I had to learn to remind myself. We’re working on it; I probably won’t have to beat him up. I have to take three times the dose most people do but it works pretty much okay. I’m not sure there’s an appropriate place for Truck Nuts, but that sure wasn’t it. If he moves from being my ex ex boyfriend to being my ex ex ex boyfriend does he still have to pay for stuff when we go out? I had an argument about math at the Target! Self-medicating with Jagermeister is meta stupid. I was feeling depressed and then realized hey! I have a car, and speed metal! The guy wanted to write his autobiography and call it REBEL FOR THE FUCK OF IT.

Do not go gentle into the Little Knight. The guy bought two of them and I said “I guess you need it!” and then I felt just awful. Trouble with that guy is, he’ll paint half your house and then disappear. She was dropping all kinds of hints but no one wanted to hear her story so we all just went home.

This isn’t a place to bring yourself; it’s a place to bring a cheerful plastic puppet of yourself.

The brain is a poorly understood organ

List of things I do that have no point or rhyme or reason or meaning but are compulsive and necessary:

  • Say “you are the cat!” to the cat, often
  • Count while peeing as if the number when I finish is significant
  • Rest one hand on the gearshift while driving although I have not driven stick for many years
  • Look at pretty girls
  • Continue through a story doggedly even when I realize everyone has heard it
  • Shake a bottle of pills slightly before taking one
  • Spin the vinyl backwards when putting a vinyl record on a turntable
  • Get up every day and live my life in the absence of evidence that it’s meaningful
  • Take a toothpick from the restaurant front counter
  • Try to repair damaged friendships
  • Bark at dogs