WELL FOLKS IT’S 0520 AND I JUST THOUGHT I’D LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I WAS PAGED OUT OF BED TO RESTART THE THINGY BECAUSE OUR JAVA THINGY HAD A THINGY, AND NOW THE THINGY IS OKAY!! SO ALL OF YOU WHO USE OUR THINGY TO GET UPDATES ABOUT THINGY WILL HAVE LESS DELAY WHEN YOU CLICK ON THE THINGIES.

THAT IS WHY THEY PAY ME THE BIG DICKS!!! ANYWAY I’M GOING TO PUT MORE CAPSAICIN ON MY NECK AND HAVE SOME ICEWATER BECAUSE I HAVE A ZEST FOR LIFE. ALSO I AM NAKED EXCEPT FOR SOCKS. ALSO THE CAT DISAPPROVES. ALSO PLEASE SHOOT ME IN MY FAT FUCKING FACE.

Plenty of fruity hops.

Black Sheep Holy [Gr}Ail

First up Beverly, first up Wilshire, first up Santa Monica. All threes you are not first up. Three ten. Three ten at the Beverly, Mrs. Cantor, for downtown. Three eighteen. Three eighteen for the Holiday Inn downtown, Mr. Davison. All threes you are still not first up.

One one four to K4. K4 what is your location. K4. K4 copy, we have a request in Hollenbeck, switch to Tac 4.

18-241. 18-241 your plate returns 10-36 Frank. Unit to follow 18-241 at Beach and Ball on a 10-36 Frank plate. Copy 18-220 and 18-223 en route. Per the desk sergeant code 2 only. Copy.

Engine 53, Truck 53, Engine 9, Engine 41, Engine 30, Truck 8, Medic 53, Crew 8, Crew 12, Dozer 4, Helicopter 41, respond to the vegetation fire, Laguna Canyon Road at the 405, on four bravo.

Battalion copy your request for a second alarm and light air unit. PI-3 is en route.

First up Hollywood, first up Pico, first up Beverly. All threes you are still not first up. Three nineteen your party is at the Roosevelt, Mr. Eckstein. All of you stop rushing the mic, we’re grownups okay. All threes. All threes you can discuss that later.

8 Adam 14 a 459 hot prowl at 1825 Corinth Avenue in RD 27. 8 Adam 14 respond Code 3.

All units on all frequencies officer needs help, Fifth and Alvarado.

38, traffic stop, Bayside and the Highway, Four Frank David John 8 7 9. 38, copy 10-6.

Pan pan, pan pan, pan pan. This is the United States Coast Guard Station Long Beach with a marine advisory. All vessels are asked to be on the lookout for a downed aircraft last seen thirty miles south southwest of San Clemente Island..

Okay, you’re three cars back. He’s committed to a left on Harbor. Left on harbor. White van and red Camaro between you. Slowing down. Looks like he’s headed to the 7-11. Yeah, 7-11. No, he’s back out and headed northbound. Slow up slow up, he’s gonna make you. Okay, two up from the minivan there. Yeah. Okay, he’s back northbound.

All threes you are still not first up.

Everyone’s gone mad again. Have a great time! I’ll see you when you’re back.

T-Bone said it: Watch out for the trap door.

I’m not at all country, and I’m very rock ‘n’ roll.

Sometimes lately I feel like I’ve found the still center of the turning worlds but it’s usually just the second glass of wine.

About an hour ago, the teenaged kids were horsing around outside not leaving yet in the car for a long time and then one of them yelled GET OFF MY KOOLAID, BITCH!

And then no more was heard
But the sound of strong men struggling with a word

— Hilaire Belloc

SPAMAMP MABBIT FLABADAP GONK!

Canonical list of Don Martin Sound Effects from MAD Magazine.

I saw the best minds of my generation become TV commercial producers and music promo men, blind screaming insane members of the SCA or the Porsche Club of America or gone straight edge vegan kosher Green Party Cathar perfect.

Just like T-Bone said, it’s expensive at 50% off.

The price of sorcery is always death. I have an unfinished novel of which that is the central idea.

It’s all real, Reg. It’s really happening.

Watch where that lands. You’ll need it later.

FLRP

I went out after dinner for my usual hour or two at D’s only to see three cop cars parked across the street. That’s unusual here. As I was pulling out I passed a few cops in the street, including one with a dog, and then two more cop cars around the corner. For a neighborhood where crime consists of a missing bicycle from an open garage, this was a lot of cop muscle.

It’s likely that V. got in trouble again somehow. He gets high and/or drunk and belligerent and I know he’s not supposed to be at his parents’ house, which is around the corner. I think he’s fought the police before too. He’s a big burly guy, worked as a meat cutter, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they needed the dog to take him down.

It’s still odd to think of the kid I played with when we were both 5 being this drunk, drugged out wreck of a man.

Messing around with metaspy results, stimps uttered the phrase “Christian dinner theatre”.

Thirty seconds later I have found this theatre, who appear to be putting the “mystery” back into the Mysteries, and a how-to book for budding evangelical dinner theatre impresarios.

I wonder if they have Church Lady versions of “The Fantasticks” or “Carousel” for us, to go with our chicken cordon bleu and iceberg lettuce salad?

Edit: using the “theater” spelling one also encounters a Christianity Today article with bonus “Beef and Boards Dinner Theater” phrase.