I keep seeing this article about William Burroughs linked everywhere, as though it was somehow the definitive word on him.

I don’t think so.

Is it supposed to be news that Burroughs was a drug addict and did some really shitty things, and was neurotic? Or that he had an “Ugly Spirit”? Has anyone read a biography of him, or paid attention to his writing? Parts two and three are worse, ending in a clumsy Freshman Comp “conclusion” paragraph that says exactly nothing.

What is wrong with “internet culture” that a mediocre 5-7 page undergraduate literature class paper that deserves about a B+ is linked all over the place as canonical, innovative, fascinating?

READ A BOOK, EVERYONE!

7.9 quake in Chile

San Luis Obispo’s Public Fish Sculptures + H.P. Lovecraft = COMEDY GOLD.

http://www.gaywheels.com/

1. What, no Cabrio on the top page?
2. Where are the Silverado pickups and Subaru Outbacks for the lesbians?
3. Is the Escape Hybrid a “Bi/Curious” car?

Jokes aside, the “gay friendly” thing is probably a good idea if they do it right. Certainly I’d feel more comfortable giving $30,000 to a company that treated GLBT people well.

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Four Bravo Nine, I’m out with one pedestrian, request a Code 1 for unusual circumstances. And a supervisor. And the Taser…

Surgical tools washed with hydraulic fluid.

Now, I worked in a hospital, and I know the people who do this stuff are major stoners. But not noticing the difference between detergent and hydraulic fluid? What. The.

E-zekiel! The easy website solution for churches…

I wonder what Ezekiel himself would have thought of a pyramid scheme portal site aimed at clueless pastors. My guess is that he would not have liked it so much.

Their levels of service are: Bronze, Silver, Gold, and Platinum. The Silver level is about $30, which made me laugh pretty hard.

I am now going to quote their entire “About Us” text, for hurting you. It’s written in GodBuzz™!

Axletree Media, Inc. is a profitable, private corporation committed to providing Christian organizations with easy-to-use, powerful, cost-effective, Internet-based communications tools.

Since purchasing E-zekiel, Axletree Media has continued to extend this powerful communications platform as well as develop strategic partnerships to meet the ever-changing needs of Christian organizations from mega-churches like Bellevue Baptist Church in Cordova, Tennessee (http://www.bellevue.org), to Christian businesses such as Lead Like Jesus (http://www.leadlikejesus.com), to churches with less than 50 members.

As a leading global application services provider, Axletree Media is focused on providing web-based products with best-in-class functionality, at entry-level prices without sacrificing the look and feel of your organization’s web presence. Our commitment isn’t to technology, it’s to you. We focus on providing what you need–when you need it.

We believe solutions should solve problems, not create them. We don’t resist change; we create it. We don’t follow; we lead. Every day we immerse ourselves in your needs and constantly work to unleash the power of the Internet for your ministry, Christian business or non-profit organization.

With more than 6,000 customers in 12 countries worldwide, we believe that our track record of growth, excellence, and service means we are succeeding. We also believe that this is just the beginning.

The Los Angeles Times is apparently going to make a Wiki out of their editorial page online. This should be funny/hard to watch. Have they looked at the vandalism issues on wikipedia lately? And that’s just for internerds. This is going to be “Editorial Page Meets 1991 Usenet” or something. Ow, ow, ow.

1. Freakonomics: Boy genius economist explains it all for you. The author is a Chicago economics professor who is young and energetic. He’s hired a ghost writer to talk about him in the third person at the beginning of each chapter, which is jarring. Past the hype and the odd structure of the book, I found it enjoyable. It reminds me of some really enjoyable undergraduate courses I had which mostly consisted of cool stories illustrating some point of the subject. He talks about baby names, and crime, and other quotidian interests and relates them to microeconomics, so even if you hate economics he tricks you into being interested in it. Unlike the good undergrad course, the book doesn’t impart any real knowledge, so it’s just all the fun stories from the cool young prof. It leaves you feeling really smart, but you really aren’t. Worth two hours. B-

2. The Men Who Stare At Goats: British journalist documents New Age insanity of the military. Documentary filmmaker and writer Jon Ronson has a good previous record at dealing with nut cases. This time he’s found a treasure trove. A Strangelovian assortment of military officers, including the chief of military intelligence for the U.S. Army, spent years trying to walk through walls, stop people’s hearts with their brains, locate enemies with psychic powers, and become invisible. Some of them believe they did these things. A gaggle of unfortunate goats spent a while being stared at by military personnel who were trying to kill them with the Force, or something. At one point a psychic goes into a trance attempting to locate Panamanian strongman Manuel Noriega and awakens with the important message: ASK KRISTY MCNICHOL! The latter part of the book gets more serious, as Ronson finds that some of the funny/silly New Age stuff has now been adapted into torture technique. One puzzled former Gitmo inmate relates attempts by his guards to drive him nuts with loud, bad music, and there are an assortment of similar psychological torments. Most of the book is for laughs, though, and he delivers. Another pretty good waste of two hours. B+ I strongly recommend Ronson’s previous book (and documentary TV series if you can find it) about extremists, with profiles of David Icke, Randy Weaver, and other nut jobs; it’s an A+. Engrossing and funny but tragic, and sympathetic to the kooks. Also, see Ronson’s own site.

If you use any kind of news reader (RSS/atom/whatever) and you want this, my del.icio.us bookmarks, and my flickr photos all in one stream, one click stalking is available:

Mac users: Safari does this automagically if you don’t have/want a newsreader program.

Enjoy,

the management