Dream of the wrong D.

I think the last few have been coming directly from some peculiar research facility where they’re beaming Jungian imagery over the internet into my head.

In my dream I’m Apollo chasing Daphne, knowing that she wants nothing to do with me and that she’s going to turn into a damn plant, but this is my role so here I go. It’s all about which arrow hits you. I duck around bushes barely catching sight of her, and then suddenly I run into a clearing.

Only Daphne’s nowhere to be seen, not even as a laurel tree, and there’s some other woman there. Slightly too late I realize this is Diana, oh shit she doesn’t like it when guys show up and BOOM! She turns me into a deer.

A Far Side deer, at that. She wanders off and I sit frustrated on a stump.

Story of my fuckin’ life, man.

HELLO

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I am a linkJ, I am what I paste

  1. Why would anyone want to make their own ad for the product they love? Because we live in AMERICA! FUCK YEAH! (AdJab)
  2. wearekim calls my attention to a distressing soap dispenser.
  3. ZAAAAAAP. (Flickr)
  4. They’re still at it with the crazy crypto export controls; it’s been a bipartisan nightmare for over 10 years now. (Schneier)
  5. The always worthwhile Dinosaur Comics today addresses manliness.
  6. Okay, it’s funny enough that the Vatican has a Chief Astronomer, but that he’s the one defending evolution makes it even better. “Who got Galileo’s office?” Edit: Even Rick Santorum doesn’t want “Intelligent Design” in the schools; wow.
  7. We have a war in the Middle East and ironic mullets everywhere, so why not a new retro Camaro? Well, because it’s fucking stupid, that’s why.

My county’s sheriffs are doing a fine imitation of Tijuana cops lately. Background here: The son of an “assistant sheriff” and major campaign donor took part in a gang rape of another teenager and the Sheriffs Office obstructed the investigation. They also let the kid go when he was smoking pot outside the courthouse. Meanwhile, it turns out that the Sheriff has been handing out Reserve Deputy status, with badge and government issued gun included, to all his buddies. Some of said buddies have criminal records, and none of them are peace officers. The State has been pressuring him to train or fire his reserve deputies.

Hey, they’re right! His taekwondo instructor turns out not to be the kind of guy you want packing heat:

O.C. Reserve Deputy Is Suspended
Four felony counts are lodged against the man who is also the sheriff’s martial arts instructor. He allegedly pulled a gun and raged at golfers.
By Christine Hanley
Times Staff Writer

August 5, 2005

An Orange County sheriff’s reserve deputy was suspended from duty after his arrest Monday for allegedly flashing his badge, pulling a gun and threatening to kill a group of golfers at a Chino Hills course.

Meanwhile, prosecutors in San Bernardino County said Thursday that they were upping the charges against the reserve officer from a single misdemeanor count of brandishing a firearm to four felonies: two counts each of assault with a firearm and making criminal threats.

conduct unbecoming