Category: Uncategorized

A penny saved is a penny.

  1. The “Trump Blog” is well worth reading. Today’s entry is from the Donald’s “Chief Learning Officer”, who has a ten point plan for reforming higher education that made me so happy I had to do the mambo with the cat for a while. Special points for using the phrase “just in time”, although #10 is really the best after you’ve read the first 9.
  2. I remembered today how much I liked Borges’ Library of Babel.
  3. Here, have lots and lots of mushroom cloud pictures.
  4. Since the Japanese have concreted over their entire nation with pork-barrel corruption construction projects, it’s time for the natural progression to blowing cash on a useless new Concorde.
  5. In smaller, more insidious aircraft news, they’re making evil animatronic birds to spy on us.
  6. ¡Cuidado! ¡Hay llamas!
  7. Mulder, watch out! ROGUE SQUIRREL!

Their Thetanic Majesties Request

Edit: feisty_robot points out that this was originally a satire piece, and that the editors of the Toronto Fashion Monitor had been taken in. I guess they’re no longer the continent’s paper of record for me!

Every time he opens his mouth, he brings me joy, and I can forget the world’s cares for a few more moments. I had no idea that Brooke Shields had a multicentury career of evil behind her! I thought it was restricted to Blue Lagoon.

Scientologist Tom Cruise revealed that he is much older than the forty three years he has spent in his present body.

Tom Cruise noted that he is “old beyond reckoning.” What’s more, his current life is “probably one of the least satisfying” he has led.

“I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents, and developed cures for diseases,” said Tom Cruise.

Cruise said he became aware that he “had been here before,” when he read the complete works of Shakespeare in a month, despite being dyslexic, not long after dropping out of high school.

“Shakespeare was deja vu for me,” said Tom Cruise. “It was so cool. I felt as if I had seen his words already, knew them all by heart. Then, after I began studying scientology, I realized the words had come from my heart in a previous life. That’s why I say that as glorious and enviable as my present life is, making “War of the Worlds” and all those other great movies can’t compare to writing “Romeo and Juliet” or the sonnets.

In addition to recognizing his days of future passed in the works of Shakespeare and Bach—and in the achievements of Columbus and Napoleon—Cruise recognizes the continuing reappearance of “Anti-Thetanic forces,” such as Matt Lauer and Brooke Shields, with whom he has clashed in former lives.

http://toronto.fashion-monitor.com/news.php/Celebrity_Style/2005082202tom_cruise (via blogging.la)

Look me in the eye and tell me I’m satisfied.

I should not listen to the Replacements’ Let it Be and Pleased to Meet Me albums unless I am in a very good mood and with friends. Hello, PTSD trigger!

That kind of memory has an intense good/bad rush for me. I am at once suddenly held down hard by a weight of sadness and regret, and also nostalgic and grateful for it all: being in my early 20s, screaming out lyrics back at the band, living on rage and spaghetti, getting permanently broken by my first love, hitting bottom and never really leaving. The whole decade took place at 3 am with a chili cheeseburger in my lap and someone’s mix tape in the deck. I want it back and I wish it all never happened.

Music was everything. It was the glue that held us together as friends, the bread we lived on, the soundtrack to every high and every car crash, the obsession that got us thrown out of school, and for many of us a career. We all lived from the neck up with occasional genital excursions. None of us knew how lucky we were.

Holden didn’t catch us in the rye and I went over the cliff, but what a hell of a ride it was, singing the whole way down.

PrivacyWatch: Data heisted from car dealers is sold

From Automotive Digest, a charming story. ADP Dealers Services (a division of the payroll giant) was caught surreptitiously taking data from auto dealers and selling it to Carfax, the automotive data company. The rest of their summary of an Automotive News story not available to nonsubscribers is below. I’m glad that they are aware of the sensitivities.

Situation
1. ADP Dealers Services admits taking data from dealers; sold it w/o their knowledge
2. Says repair and maintenance records taken after hours, then sold to Carfax
3. ADP says it’s stopped pulling data due to dealer complaints
4. Won’t say how many dealers involved in action from Dec through March
5. Experts say dealers need to have lawyers review all contracts w/ vendors
6. Some dealer groups want states to require dealer consent before vendors pull data

Significant Points
1. At issue is who owns data on dealer computers
2. But automakers and vendors often have access
3. Dealers worry about identity theft, privacy lawsuits
4. ADP furnished Carfax w/ VIN data, not protected by federal privacy laws
5. ADP competitor, Reynolds & Reynolds, sells data to Power Information Network
6. But contract promises to get dealer’s permission

Says
“And they’re taking our information and selling it to other organizations. Every dime of that money (paid to ADP) needs to be returned to the dealers.” — David Farris, owner, Farris Motors

“While the goal of the program was in the best interest of dealers and consumers, a better job should have been done thinking through potential dealer concerns and communicating to dealers the rationale and advantages of the program.” — Kevin Henahan, senior VP marketing, ADP

“Privacy is a huge area of concern. We are aware of the sensitivities.” — Mark Feighery, spokesman, Reynolds & Reynolds

Web Source
http://www.autonews.com/article.cms?articleId=54175
http://www.adp.com
http://www.carfax.com
http://www.reyrey.com

I GOT EMAIL FROM THE DONALD!!!!

I’m excited to be going back to school. How could someone of my background and aspirations miss the “live educational event of the decade”?

From: info@trumpuniversity.com
Subject: Personal Invitation from Donald Trump
Date: August 23, 2005 12:44:44 PM PDT
Reply-To: info@trumpuniversity.com

I’m writing to invite you to meet me personally, online, at a once-in-a-lifetime event. On September 13th I am launching The Trump Way to Wealth. It will be the live educational event of the decade, and I want you to join me (see link below).

hilarity