Fiction Bits

Separate from the brain filter, I’m making a fiction filter.

I’m going to post some fiction stuff. For now it’s just short-shorts and character development/dialogue crap for a long-term project. If you’re interested in seeing that stuff, comment here (screened).

Guaranteed not to contain any chicken jizz

While at Mother’s Market (local health food nut store) today I was browsing around in the My Abdomen Hurts section for charcoal, which I found. I also found all the other stuff that may or may not make one’s abdomen stop hurting: licorice root, ginger, dragon’s foot oil, chelated monkulare niblets, etc. One of these products was listed as being contained in “hexane-free caplets”.

Okay. Hexane is what we usually call “gasoline”. Who the fuck puts gasoline in their medicines? Is this some health food store nutcase fear, or should I be concerned that the Tylenol or the K-Y Jelly or the inferior-brand Daily Vitamins I’m guzzling have Chevron Mid-Grade in them?

guys, we have METH DEALERS in this county

Ticketed for wearing headphones on the BUS?

Previous article on the same subject.

Apparently a “show of force” on the OCTA buses includes harassing people for noncrimes and then questioning their immigration status after harassing them for said noncrimes.

Hey I have a great idea for the OC Sheriffs. Instead of citing Canadians for listening to their iPods on the bus, which is not a crime, why not try cleaning up the various unincorporated areas of the county which are stuffed with freaked out Nazi skinheads using and selling meth? I really doubt the Canadian tourist grooving to String Cheese Incident on the 53 line is going to shiv me out of sheer joie di vivre, and the skinheads creep me out. Thanks.

Little Tykes… …OF DOOM!

The Little Tikes Co. Recalls Animal-Shaped Flashlights Containing Lead Paint Sold at Target

Name of Product: Glowin’ Dino and Glowin’ Doggy Animal Flashlights

Hazard: The light green paint on the dinosaur-shaped flashlight and the brown paint on the dog-shaped flashlight could contain excess levels of lead. Lead is toxic if ingested by young children and can cause adverse health effects.

BEHOLD THE AGENT OF OUR DESTRUCTION: