- Kids! Have fun killing your pain and fever when you mix it up with new Do It Yourself Tylenol™ Flavors! I wonder when the first drunk will mix five of these with vodka and die.
- Let’s all simulate really crappy weather with the National Weather Service’s HOT SEAT weather emergency thingy!
- Football? Foucault? Football Foucault? FOUCAULT FOOTBALL!
- Those good old boys were singin’ Go USA the day the lawns weren’t mowed.
- In our country, trapped coal miners don’t get working emergency oxygen packs. In Australia, they get iPods!
- SUP I’M A SHEEP is one of many fine pictures from Chris Doane.
Category: Uncategorized
why LJ blew up the other day
someone else decided to make their problem into Six Apart’s problem:
http://q.queso.com/archives/001917
I propose that anyone who wants to start a “Computer Security Company” be forced to have one pinky hacked off. The first time they lie, cheat, or steal for “Security” reasons they lose the other one. We’ll progress from there.
This is all hoyvenmayven’s fault

Lord, let this clown pass from me.

The Two Subcultures Rule still holds. The ‘Vark passed on a community of Evangelical Christian Insane Clown Posse Fans and their associated Universal Life Church Congregation at MSN Groups.
Exceptionally strong minds may be able to confront the poetry.
What’s Mandarin for “The O.C.”?
This appears to be a housing development somewhere in China that attempts to be Orange County, California.
Edit: Yup, it’s just that: http://www.quartzcity.net/blog/archives/2003/02/06/orange_county_china.html
http://www.orangecounty.com.cn/load.html
Come back! those are prescription pants!
I am a man of mystery, a man of secrets. I was born on the misty shores of North haverbrock. I learned the art of off shore fishing. I learned it well. Like the cat, I am a man of voloptutious delights. I enjoy a good book under a fire light or dancing in the full moon in my magical thong letting the powers of nature work their magic through me for I am merely a conduit. Is my story true? No, but it creates an interesting image. I do enjoy a good read though. Fantasy is, as you might imagine from my fanciful name, my balliwick. I like music of all kinds but in particular I do enjoy the mystical heavy metal musings of Dio and the magical offerings of Blind Guardian and their power metal ilk. Other than that there is not much more to say.
Email we were happy to receive: SR in LA!
From: Savage Republic
Date: May 2, 2006 7:03 PM
Subject: LA show just confirmed
Savage Republic will be playing our only headlining LA appearance in 2006 on Saturday, June 3rd at LA’s newest club, Safari Sams! We are proud to welcome very special guests and longtime friends, WCKR SPGT (www.wckrspgt.com) There will be another opening band announced very soon.
We will be fresh back from peddling our wares in Greece and should have some suprises in store!
Please check http://www.safari-sams.com for more info and how to purchase your advanced tickets.
Dear angry white people
I have read and heard the most amazing nonsense about the immigration issue lately. Some of it comes from otherwise sane people I respect. Once again I’m reminded of the power of xenophobia, nativism, and bigotry.
- I have no problem with legal immigration. But these people are breaking the law! We shouldn’t reward law-breaking! The law needs to be enforced and they have no business saying otherwise. I’m not a bigot, though! We just have to enforce those LAWS.
The laws as they currently stand are unjust, unworkable, unenforceable, and unrealistic. First of all, Mexico is a very poor country and this is not an accident. We made them poor. We stole their land by force many times. We steal their water. We control their economy and their political leadership with money and force to prevent them from competing with our industries. We practice mercantile economic policies on them just the way the British did to us in the 18th century. This makes the border a sharp line between rich and poor.
People on the poor side of that line can feed their families and survive if they get across the line, and the people on the rich side of the line are more than willing to employ them at a discounted rate. Look at yourself and ask: would you break another country’s immigration law to feed your family? Or would you say “no, kids, we’re not going to eat regularly because it would be wrong to break this other country’s immigration law, even though they stole our land and our wealth.” That was easy, wasn’t it?
We have a necessarily porous border and a huge demand for unskilled labor. Allowing Mexican guest workers across is in the best interest of almost everybody. The only reason that immigration is restricted is that white Americans fear Spanish-speaking brown people. That is not enough of a reason to keep this laughable pretense going.
The only people I think have a legitimate reason to oppose a guest worker program are low-skilled American citizen workers. A two-tiered wage system or just an influx of workers is a disaster for them, and I do not know how to solve that problem. Interestingly I hear almost nothing from them in the mainstream news, probably because it’s not okay to discuss unions, the plight of American low-skilled labor, etc. in the current phalangist political environment.
People who talk like this apparently believe that the LAWS were handed down by Moses, are just, and must not be changed, and that agitation to change said laws that includes civil disobedience is a priori wicked and criminal. If you’ll open a history book, you’ll find that in the 1950s and 1960s American citizens who were being oppressed on the basis of their ethnicity staged marches, demonstrations, and acts of civil disobedience in violation of law that resulted in a gigantic change in our laws for the better. Those people broke the law and marched proudly into jail and today you and I are the better for it.
If the speed limit was 25 miles per hour everywhere and people had to crawl along or risk a ticket, you’d want that law changed. And if ten thousand people got on the road one morning and all drove 35 miles per hour to prove the point, I bet you’d applaud. The laws are only as good as we decide they are. This law stinks; don’t hide behind it.
- I can’t stand those people waving Mexican flags and singing and talking in Spanish. If they want to be American they should wave American flags and sing and talk in English! Otherwise they should go back to Mexico! Why, I couldn’t just go down to Mexico and act that way, why should they think they can do that here?
My great++ grandfather arrived in this country in 1750 as an indentured laborer before it was a country. He didn’t speak the language, but he worked free of his bond and fought in the Revolution. He was German and died a German with citizenship in a new country. On the other side, my relatives arrived in the 1890s also from Germany and spoke German up through the 1920s. They were farmers and owned a store and were pillars of the community. They were very German their whole lives.
Every day I see people with Swedish or Irish or Brazilian or a hundred other nationalities’ badges on their cars. We celebrate days for ethnicities: Columbus Day, St. Patrick’s Day. The flags of foreign countries are waved and foreign languages are spoken and everyone has a great time participating in other Americans’ heritage. These celebrations, many of which occur in cities with a large population from some particular place, are a bland everyday reality here that hardly anyone questions. Your schoolkid comes home and tells you she learned how to make Swedish pancakes today or that people from Scotland eat haggis on Robbie Burns day but they just read a poem at school. This is not a threat.
If people from Mexico wave their flag and march down your street singing and talking in Spanish, deal with it. When I lived in France, our French neighbors invited us over for a Fourth of July dinner. When I lived in Italy, the cool kids were wearing American flag t-shirts that summer. It’s not a big deal, folks. This country has no official language, and anyone can use any language they want for any damn thing they please. If you get lost in some parts of Nevada and Utah the people you hail for directions will know only Basque. Guess what? That’s their right, citizens or not.
If you have a distaste for Mexican people or the Mexican flag or the Spanish language, keep it to yourself. They’re here, and they’re here to work and to share society with you just like the Irish, the Italians, the Russian Jews, the Basques, the Koreans, and us German-American mutts. They’re doing it to survive just the way you would, and their polite and well-organized demonstrations lately have said exactly what I would say if I were in their shoes: We’re here, we’re not going away, and we want to be good neighbors. Don’t call us criminals for doing what you’d do yourself.
INTERESTS MEEM
MESSING WITH THE COPY EDITOR CONSIDERED HARMFUL
A letter to the editor in this week’s Orange County Weekly, with a response not from the reporter but from the editorial staff, makes me all warm and happy inside.
IN WHICH WE’RE WISHED A NICE DAY, BUT IRONICALLY
Your rag and alleged journalists are certainly entitled to what I consider immoral, ultra-leftist opinions. Freedom of the press is, in fact, essential to a democracy. However, when a writer (Jim Washburn) has a column entitled, “Immigration? We’ve Got Bigger Problems” with a subtitle, “Why Our Noncitizens Are Our Best Citizens”, I would hope that the article would contain concrete examples of these declarations. Unfortunately, the writer chose to ramble on various issues, never addressing his topic points, before offering an example of a missed opportunity to the solution of illegal immigration by stating, “Back in the 1980s, Jesse Jackson proposed helping Mexico and other neighbors to (sic) overcome corruption and cronyism to (sic) raise (sic) job prospects and standards of living so people wouldn’t feel compelled to come here”. Mr. Washburns reasoning, like his writing, is muddled. Hey Jim, why don’t you and Jesse co-author a letter to President Fox? What a joke!!
Washburn’s final paragraph starts, “Immigrant-rights organizers are next planning a May 1 “Day Without an Immigrant,” (sic – comma should have been after the parenthetical close) in which they’re asking that people not work or shop on that day”. Great writing, Jim. I particularly enjoyed you’re convoluted word structuring in this sentence. Finally, Washburn, assumingly toungue in cheek, illogically states that blackened calamari tostada is as American as apple pie. Not that clever, Jimbo.
I applaud celebrating a “Day Without an Immigrant”. If illegal immigrants don’t work, don’t shop, don’t drive without a license or insurance, don’t commit any crimes, don’t send their children to school, don’t use any free governmental or health service benefits, etc. on that day, I would propose “A Year Without an Immigrant” so we can actually ascertain the true cost of illegal immigration.
Have a nice day,
David S. Gray
Via e-mail
The copy editor responds: Your letter, while dull, illustrates two important points: that you are frighteningly stupid, and that you really shouldn’t mess with a copy editor. In American English, we keep our punctuation inside our quotation marks unless the punctuation in question would change the meaning of that which is being quoted—for instance, if I were to say, “It sure is amazing how far David S. Gray’s ‘toungue’ is up his own ass,” and then someone else asked another person if he had heard me say that thing about you and your “toungue,” he would say it thusly: “Did you hear the copy editor say of David S. Gray, ‘It sure is amazing how far David S. Gray’s “toungue” is up his own ass’?” Am I confusing you now with all the switching back and forth between the apostrophes and the quotation marks—incidentally, what you do when there’s a quote within a quote? I’m sorry. Sorry you’re so pathetically dumb! By the way, you seem to have a bit of a problem with your possessives and you don’t know your yours from your you’res. By the way also? You’re a dick.
Don’t mess with Texas, you pussy little bitch.
