rear ender, paularino bristol, left turn pocket, halter top girl from glendora, two drunk idiot friends, gas station, headache, fire department, two cop cars and a motorcycle, halter top does the stupid human tricks, everyone plays who am I, insurance disease geico gecko. maybe ER for headache person.
Category: Uncategorized
POLITICS
Because I am having a bad work day and I didn’t sleep, here’s a cranky political bit.
I read and hear and see various thoughtful “analysts” and “pundits” and political types discussing the Iraq war lately, and they keep saying things like this: “How did this intelligence failure occur?” and “How is it that we proceeded on bad evidence about weapons of mass destruction?” and “How can we improve/reform/rebuild our intelligence services to avoid these blunders in the future?”
There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. The WMD rationale for the war was a deliberate lie from beginning to end. Anyone who stood up to the lie, especially in the intelligence services, was fired or sidelined. Parallel intelligence services were set up exactly to repeat the lie in official documents. An ugly revenge was taken on an official who stuck to the truth. This is all common knowledge.
So why are these beard-stroking collaborationists musing in a measured and dignified way about the strange and certainly unfortunate case of the not-quite-accurate intelligence estimate? Why hasn’t Hillary or Obama or anyone at all with access to the microphones and the rabbit-ear TV come out and said “J’accuse, Mr. President: you have lied to us and done so deliberately, and you know full well there were no WMD, and you and your lackeys have sent us into a bloody unwinnable war out of pride and greed?”
I’m supposed to understand all the cynical reasons why politics is shitty but this one is just past me. These people have so much to gain from telling that truth loudly; what are they afraid of, exactly?
Try our fleshpot lover’s fleshpizza!

Admittedly it’s not as good as the actual “Christian Idol” contest, but it’s still a win. Please assume all jokes about “extra golden calf” to have been made.
Bonus points for “Superbowl Syndrome” in which the pizza company can’t actually say “American Idol” because that’s an owned phrase, so they have to somehow push the concept of idolatry itself through warm disc foods.
Le Jazz! L’art surrĂ©aliste! L’ange blanc!
I scanned in some of my parents’ 1950s jazz record covers. My favorite so far is the back page of a flexi-disc magazine called Sonorama from 1959. It’s an ad for a perfume called “Rock ‘n’ Roll” and the artist is Salvador Dali!
Others are under the cut
Vanity, thy name is, uh, me.
HELLO, LOVELIES. WHO’S GOT THE BUMP UP FOR LORD FONDLEROY?
Feeling good today!
Really good, in fact, for the first time in a while. Rollin’ with that, if you please. Partly an accident of daily chemistry and partly Spring, but also I’m nearly off the #$(@)$ Vicodin, not more than a half pill a day.
This means that my digestive system is working again and I’m no longer laboring with the extra weight of a depressant. People who have abused the stuff tell me it’s no fun unless you take ten or more with a big glass of vodka. I’m going to trust them on that one because I want to reach age 50, and preferably without dialysis or unwanted prison tattoos.
I have been listening to a lot of Bowie, and Queen, and a lot of other very pinky music. I wonder if I’m slowly turning into a fey, bisexual 1970s Englishman? That would be more interesting in Orange County than being a left-wing nerd. To celebrate this, here’s a video of Bowie, Klaus Nomi, and Joey Arias doing “Boys Keep Swinging” on Saturday Night Live, on my 15th birthday: December 15, 1979 (thanks to torgo_x for the find!):
Dinner Time.
Summer Intern Week in Marketing Everywhere Continues!
This just in from Dover Motor Speedway and VISA to my email inbox:

Cup Race at Dover to be named the “Autism Speaks 400 presented by Visa”
Gosh, the Asburgers at this stadium are delicious. And with the choice, convenience, acceptance, and security of VISA I could make them happen!
MY POISON INJECTION IS HERE! MY POISON INJECTION IS HERE!
I’m getting the botulism shot into my neck and shoulder today at 11:45.
Instead of having Allergan and my insurance company approve everything I’m just going to bring this swelled-up can of oysters.
Actually. when the doctor’s office called me this morning she said that it turns out for this diagnosis no preapproval is needed. So the whole second half of this nightmare was unnecessary. She boggled at this because of the number of units of poison needed; it’s a first time for that.
So wish me luck. I’m getting a few $900 injections today that may or may not give me back my God-damned arm.
It must be Summer Intern Time in Marketing. Everywhere.
1. Do not describe produce as brown. There is a huge library of Lands’ End colors for this exact purpose. The tomatoes themselves look fine. You could get away with calling them russet, or golden, or even tawny. Start over. Also: ew.
2. This is a university. It is, in fact, a university with a huge Asian and Asian-American presence. And this university is in a city with a large Chinese-American population; they’re a dominant presence. Using ching-chong-chinaman “Confucius Say” jokes on a package of fortune cookies isn’t just stupid or insensitive. It’s suicidal.




