Author: substitute

nope

it’s just another day

Today on the patio, every possible annoying person showed up. It was bad enough to be funny.

Area mentally disabled voyeur lecher foot fetishist guy, whose communication skills are very poor, was sitting at the next table smoking and thinkin’ ’bout string or something.

One of those charity scam people came in. You know, the kind who don’t speak your language and have a sign that says something like HELP WORD PEACE WITH $1 CONTRIBUTION and stand there looking plaintive until you shoo them off.

She got the brushoff from everyone until she got to Not So Smart Old Perv. She held up the sign and smiled. He stared blankly. She smiled again and held out the sign. He stared even more blankly.

This went on for three or four minutes.

At one point Bob rode in and laughed out loud, and yelled MEXICAN STANDOFF!!!

And then she left while we all picked ourselves up off the ground and started breathing again.

We want to replace her sign with one that says I AM BEING USED IN A SCAM; FOLLOW ME TO THE GUY IN THE VAN AND BEAT HIM UP.

Throw me the whip! No, throw me the mortgage!

IndyMac Bank, a prolific mortgage specialist that helped fuel the housing boom, was seized Friday by federal regulators in one of the largest bank failures in U.S. history. The thrift was one of the largest savings and loans in the country, with about $32 billion in assets. It now joins an infamous list of collapsed banks, topped by Continental Illinois National Bank and Trust Co., which failed in 1984 with $40 billion of assets. The bank will be run by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., a federal regulator, and will reopen Monday.

Via Wall St Journal

Edit: Additional comedy from the full article: IndyMac specialized in Alt-A loans, a type of mortgage that can often be offered to borrowers who don’t fully document their incomes or assets. SO THERE’S NO CTRL-Z AMIRITE???

ITEMS!

  1. People who stand in line and take abuse to purchase an overpriced phone with a horrible shitty painful billing plan. THEY’RE FUNNY!
  2. Full Sail’s IPA isn’t so great. A salad made solely of artichoke hearts with olive oil and basil, however, is so great.
  3. Trying to figure out why I haven’t been able to read more than 3 paragraphs and I can’t get shit done, I noticed that I hadn’t taken my Adderall or even picked it up from the pharmacy for more than a week. I should pay more attention! HAW!
  4. http://www.peterkruger.com/lulzy/pages/birthofasupervillain_jpg.htm
  5. NASA sent me email with the subject line “What’s wrong with the Sun?” and I panicked a little. But it was just a tease. Apparently the Sun is still okay.
  6. I can’t believe Phil Gramm said the economic downturd was psychological and that we were a country of whiners. Did the Democrats pay him off with some hot toilet sex?
  7. I live in the only place with acceptable weather currently.
  8. I heard “I love a man in a uniform” on the muzak at Trader Joe’s yesterday while I was in line behind a woman who wore camo pants with “peace” on the ass.

I approve this salad.

I keep encountering this wonderful salad, once at a French place and twice at Russian restaurants. It consists of:

beets (cooked or canned)
garlic (I use that lebanese white garlic sauce)
yogurt or mayonnaise
walnut pieces

It’s so good. So very good. In fact, it’s very good and excellent. Go forth and make some.