Some tool actually reviewed the gag gift wine we acquired for $1.99 at Pic ‘n’ Save years ago.

This guy is the J. Walter Monheit or Jackie Harvey of wine. Wow.

Also see: http://www.craptastica.com/altars/boozer.html , http://www.craptastica.com/altars/wine.html , and http://www.brunvoll.nu/stenerud/vin.htm

I don’t.. I.. PEOPLE REVIEWED IT?

BoingBoing reports that digerati loser R.U. Sirius is now writing interview material for one of those nutritional supplement marketers.

It’s perfect when you think about it. The self-promoting, fuzzy-minded bullshit that the Wired Magazine generation laps up, all in one package: bad science, cheap new age philosophy, hucksterism, logrolling, and greed. Now in a familiar form known as “vitamin fraud”.

I await their announcement that spamming is a new form of blogging, to be called “splogging” no doubt.

Here’s your New Economy: grass and ephedra in a capsule at 4000% markup.

I said well I thought they moved to the most desolate spot, you know, and there’s no way they can come back now. We have to find someone really, really anti-war for him. Cheesecake on a stick! We need to get everyone in one damn room and fix this, tomorrow. I want this transaction to be executed, done, done, done, done. I get what you mean about Indian food, it just all looks the same on the plate. I think Costa Mesa needs a new helicopter. She didn’t need to spend ten minutes explaining MP3s to that girl. The thing to do is say you’re Canadian. If it’s Nelly Furtado then you’re glad it’s not on the rotation.

It wasn’t the dollar that pissed me off, it was the attitude. I just don’t see him and her as being on different levels, myself. That poor girl, they really fucked up her methadone level. I said to him “I dunno, I’m just carrying her bags.” When they climbed up they sang happy birthday and when they climbed down they sang “Celebrate”, for two straight hours. Boy #1 is out of the picture.

It was even worse when I realized what song they were playing.

I guess my experiment in honesty has been a failure, but it was more of a fizzle than a bang.

http://www.ocweekly.com/ink/04/12/lost-washburn.php

“There’s also the public misconception that if you live in Stanton you’re probably a whore and might very well have condoms stuck in your teeth for days before noticing it. It’s a complex case, I tell you, more than Perry Mason ever had to deal with.”

This was on ESPN2 just now, as I am fighting sleep at work: http://www.stranaracing.com/

Sponsored, of course, by Tonka.

Instead of going out I fell asleep. Apparently 1.5 glasses of wine with dinner is enough to knock me out nowadays. I was awakened at 9:50 pm by the sweet sound of my pager informing me that someone at my job has issues with something that I cannot fix.

I am now awake! awake! awake! with not a damned thing to do, and I have to be at work tomorrow at 10 for ceremonial and religious reasons unrelated to actual work.

Dinner was good: baked tilapia with sweet Meyer lemon slices, steamed broccoli with dill/yogurt/pepper sauce, and sliced raw fennel salad.

Whenever I fall asleep at an odd time and screw up my schedule I get a persistent feeling of loneliness, as though i had slept through the big event and everyone had left without me.

Consumerism! I purchased an iPod. They were 10% off but still way too expensive. However I am a consumer whore (and how). I love it already. I am stuffing it with music.

Dissolute sloth! I sat around on the patio at D’s playing with my iPod and gabbling with friends, for hours and hours.

Gluttony! I made spicy chicken/sweet pepper/almond stirfry and green beans with dill and olive oil. So good. I also ate these things.

Frippery and frosting! I went to realitylost‘s house with hensatc and bruisedhips and we watched a thoroughly unnecessary movie entitled “How to lose a guy in 10 days”. It was basically an updated version of “Sex and the single girl”. You could recite the lines along with the actors so we did. Also: least convincing Knicks game ever. Also: least convincing New York Magazine Editors ever. Also: Kate Hudson is pretty but she’s no Natalie Wood. I think Susie was watching this movie in order to hone her skills at ripping guys’ hearts out.

Lawbreaking! I then went for a nice drive down Coast Highway and a smoke, enjoying a Drew Estates Acid Stick (it’s just a small cigar) and then coming back up, at which point I was immediately pulled over by Laguna Beach’s finest and popped for an illegal U-Turn by a very polite and pleasant officer. Hello, traffic school.

Recidivism! I was then pulled over literally 2 minutes later by another cop, who was trying to find drunks. I explained that I wasn’t drunk and that Officer Paxton had just nailed me for the U-Turn. He said “Yeah, Paxton would have got you. Have a better night, sir.”

SHEER BLOODY-MINDED DRUNKENNESS! I am now going to enjoy some whisky with my iPod and some Beethoven Late Quartets.