The Masque of the Wing Nut

Could everyone please tone down the crazy a little bit with regard to the influenza?

Strains of influenza virus like this show up. It’s happened before and will happen again. This one might go big and cause a lot of suffering, and probably won’t. The WHO and national agencies are doing a good job of coordinating and sharing information. All you can actually do right now is hope things go well and not cough on each other, and wash your hands regularly. That’s it. Really.

Conspiracies, fakes, government-created viruses, the national politics of your country and others, the bad behavior of pharmaceutical companies, and the current oncoming worldwide financial depression are possible but unlikely sources of the problem. None of these exciting things are necessary to explain an influenza outbreak.

Conspiracies do exist, and many are successful. They are boring, and unsurprisingly they don’t show up on CNN. Fat white men in suits conspire to start wars, fix prices, steal natural resources, poison people, and crush the rights of individuals. They get away with it most of the time. Keep your eye on those bastards.

These guys don’t need to create an influenza pandemic, or fake 9/11’s plane crashes, or kill Princess Diana, or hide the UFOs. Those are things that happen in movies where our heroes run in slow-mo from an explosion at the end.

In short, it’s very unlikely that the swine flu is engineered by some shadowy cabal. It’s much more likely that it’s an outbreak of a nasty flu strain.

But almost everything about your daily life is in some way made worse by those fat white men in suits cutting deals with your birthright. Maybe they deserve more of your attention.

13 thoughts on “The Masque of the Wing Nut

  1. Who broke your nose in the picture, Jack?
    Oh, and I’m running in slow motion away from the giant explosion even though you say that only happens in movies but look it’s happening right here on the internet too so there.
    Also the fat white men aren’t half as scary as the skinny bastards.

    1. I love that movie so much. Now there’s a real conspiracy. Fuckin’ Chandler family.
      Hmm I dunno. Dick Cheney scares me more than anyone lately, and he’s definitely on the plus side.

      1. Okay. But Geithner is in great physical shape as far as I can tell.
        That is a great movie. I agree.

    1. I don’t know if I’m more amused by your joke as intended, or by trying to figure out who the ‘Chirstians’ are…
      NEW CONSPIRACY GROUP, PEOPLE. IF WE ALL WORK TOGETHER AND GET THE RIGHT BLOGS ON OUR SIDE, WE CAN PUSH THIS ALL THE WAY TO NUMBER ONE! NOW LET’S GO MAKE EVERYONE FORGET ABOUT THE PRIORY OF SCION!

  2. im not worried about now. im worried about the spread. but then again, i actually know a lot about virology and know exactly why all the bioscience people are so freaked out. here are a couple really really good writeups about why this outbreak is scary:
    http://scienceblogs.com/aetiology/2009/04/what_does_the_whos_pandemic_sc.php
    http://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/2009/05/the_new_swine_flu_dont_panic_b.php
    http://scienceblogs.com/effectmeasure/2009/05/swine_flu_case_definitions_and.php
    http://scienceblogs.com/effectmeasure/2009/05/swine_flu_the_overreaction_ove.php
    It’s not now that we should be scared, first outbreaks are usually somewhat scattered and sporatic. it’s the resurgence in the population some months later that is the scary point, at that point the virus has spread enough to do true damage, and as discussed in those articles, we have no natural resistance to this flu as of yet.
    so i guess my point is: never get your info from the actual media. they don’t know why they should be scared cuz they are too busy posing for the camera. everyone should be scared right now, but not about right now. they should be prepared for this fall if this is the dominant strain and there is no viable vaccine this time. Also take a look at the adamantane resistance articles:
    http://scienceblogs.com/scientificactivist/2009/05/why_swine_flu_is_resistant_to.php
    http://scienceblogs.com/digitalbio/2009/05/swine_flu_and_resistance_to_am.php
    that’s the point where biology, biochem, and biophysics meet and it’s probably the most interesting pieces of the current writeups.

  3. Instead of an insightful comment with a witty barb at the end, I’m just gonna say that everyone currently wigging about the swine flu protopandemic probably ought to settle down for the rest of this weekend and read Uncle Bill’s Naked Lunch again.

  4. Awesome! Love the subject line!!!
    (not sure about the 9-11 stuff… and I do believe they did put crack into heavily black neighborhoods to suck up black people’s strength… but Princess Di? Nah)
    Wholeheartedly agree on shutting down fat suited whitey on a daily basis!

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