7 thoughts on “The best book in the history of reading books and book reading, ever, in the world

  1. Pulitzer!
    That was wonderful! It doesn’t matter to me that someone added the kicker at the end, it was still comedy gold.
    When I was a kid, I wrote a story about happy-face tennis-shoes. The tennis-shoes were taunted by all the pretty dresses in the closet. So one night, the tennis-shoes tied the dresses down with shoe laces, went out and got all muddy, and stomped all over the dresses.
    To this day, I wonder if my teacher might have had a “little talk” with my folks about that story. I’ve still got it, and in my opinion, it’s the best thing I’ve ever written.


      1. Re: Pulitzer!
        I had tons of friends up until 5th grade. Then this girl moved to town, became my friend, and ultimately betrayed me by turning nearly everyone in our small town against me – right before junior high started. As if junior high could BE any worse.
        In 8th grade, I somehow magically made it on to football drill team (the previous year, for reasons unknown, I had been on the wrestling and girls’ basketball drill teams, which were the total dork drill teams that neither the cool girls nor the cool nerd girls wanted to be on). When I made it onto the football drill team, over half the squad threatened to quit because, “we don’t want to be on a squad with a total geek like her.”
        So, you know, fortitude and vengeance. To this day I STILL wish I had more of both in me.


      2. Re: Pulitzer!
        God, Jr. High is SO brutal. You could not pay me enough to make it worth it to go back to that time of life. What a gaggle of little bitches you were lucky enough to be thrown in with.
        It was in Jr. High that I actually started having more than one friend at a time, but it wasn’t until High School that the scales fell from my eyes and I realized that none of the harpies that had made it their mission in life to make my life miserable had any real power. Up until that time, if I could have tied them all down and splattered them, I would have been delighted to do so.


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