Year: 2006

Guaranteed not to contain any chicken jizz

While at Mother’s Market (local health food nut store) today I was browsing around in the My Abdomen Hurts section for charcoal, which I found. I also found all the other stuff that may or may not make one’s abdomen stop hurting: licorice root, ginger, dragon’s foot oil, chelated monkulare niblets, etc. One of these products was listed as being contained in “hexane-free caplets”.

Okay. Hexane is what we usually call “gasoline”. Who the fuck puts gasoline in their medicines? Is this some health food store nutcase fear, or should I be concerned that the Tylenol or the K-Y Jelly or the inferior-brand Daily Vitamins I’m guzzling have Chevron Mid-Grade in them?

guys, we have METH DEALERS in this county

Ticketed for wearing headphones on the BUS?

Previous article on the same subject.

Apparently a “show of force” on the OCTA buses includes harassing people for noncrimes and then questioning their immigration status after harassing them for said noncrimes.

Hey I have a great idea for the OC Sheriffs. Instead of citing Canadians for listening to their iPods on the bus, which is not a crime, why not try cleaning up the various unincorporated areas of the county which are stuffed with freaked out Nazi skinheads using and selling meth? I really doubt the Canadian tourist grooving to String Cheese Incident on the 53 line is going to shiv me out of sheer joie di vivre, and the skinheads creep me out. Thanks.

Little Tykes… …OF DOOM!

The Little Tikes Co. Recalls Animal-Shaped Flashlights Containing Lead Paint Sold at Target

Name of Product: Glowin’ Dino and Glowin’ Doggy Animal Flashlights

Hazard: The light green paint on the dinosaur-shaped flashlight and the brown paint on the dog-shaped flashlight could contain excess levels of lead. Lead is toxic if ingested by young children and can cause adverse health effects.

BEHOLD THE AGENT OF OUR DESTRUCTION:

UPDATE FROM SIXTH FLOOR CONFERENCE ROOM

OKAY, SO WE’RE A COUPLE HOURS INTO THIS LONG MEETING AND I’VE LEARNED A WHOLE LOT ABOUT THE WHITEBOARD!!! THE NETWORK GUY IS SMART AND TALKS REALLY FAST SO I HOPE THERE’S A HANDOUT LATER!!

I THINK THAT TODAY I WILL BE PAYING THE FULL $22.95 MAXIMUM FOR MY VEHICLE’S PARKING SO I WANT TO GET THE FULL VALUE FOR MY MONEY, HERE.

I’D ALSO LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU THAT MY INTESTINAL BLOATING AND DISCOMFORT HAVEN’T BEEN NOTICEABLY IMPROVED EVEN WITH THE CHANGE FROM METAMUCIL TO FIBERCON AS MY REGULAR FIBER SUPPLEMENT. FOLKS THESE ARE ALSO KNOWN AS BULK FORMING LAXATIVES.

MORE UPDATES AS EVENTS WARRANT. I BET LUNCH IS GOING TO OCCUR SOME TIME SOON!!

THE SECURITY HERE IS VERY SECURITIZED AND MAKES ME FEEL MORE SECURE THAN I’VE BEEN IN YEARS.