DEAR STUART: I HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT THE BUNNY

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Dear changeng:

Bunny.

Bunny Maintenance

Please explain:

  1. Your bunny.
  2. Why the bunny slowly gyrates some times but not other times.
  3. Why the bunny’s crotch is mic’d.
  4. What the bunny maintenance procedure is that you’re performing above.
  5. Why the bunny performed only during a Doors song.

Thanks in advance,

Your terrified audience, substitute

P.S. I know you say you haven’t read it, but I keep thinking about Leisuretown

Published by substitute

nope

Published

3 thoughts on “DEAR STUART: I HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT THE BUNNY”

  3. Hokay
    1. His name is Ozzie. A gift from Sandy. He’s quite pleasant company and studies the Kabbalah (cum on, he lives in Los Angeles)
    2. He gyrates as he sees fit – he subscribes to the theory that good music is only 30 seconds long.
    3. He sings from his diaphram, which sees the loudest at his crotch. If on ly MY crotch was that loud, I could make some REAL money. CARNIVAL money.
    4. Since he’s in his mid 40’s he needs frequent prostrate exams.
    5. Unfortunately, the bunny is a one-trick pony and only sings one song. I don’t do blues tunes, so we compromised on this one. I’m hoping to find more like him that sing a variety of songs. If you know of anything that would work besides “Roadhouse Blues”, please let me know!
    btw – he thought you looked rather distinguished tonight.
    Thanks for stopping by tonight, C ! And also the photos!
    I think he may be gay.

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