I don’t think “porkulent” is even a proper word.

I’m on call, the system for which I’m responsible blows up and needs restarting about every 2 hours, and it’s not getting fixed any time soon. This is similar to having a baby without the poo but also without the promise of a future. If this goes on all night tonight I am going to be Lieutenant Colonel Grumpy Q. Asshole of the Royal Annoyance Force tomorrow.

I genuinely like prunes. You’re not supposed to, because they’re funny (P sound, associated with shitting and old people). But I really like them.

I saw two Bentley coupés, a Ferrari 612 Scaglietta, a Lamborghini Gallardo, and a Maserati Quattroporte on the road today. The wealth around here is approaching Kuwaiti levels. As a spectator sport it’s fascinating. I saw the larval form of a soccer mom today at Trader Joe’s. She was about 19, probably an OCC or Vanguard student, fake ‘n’ bake tan, very skinny, pants slipping off hips, Hollister sweatshirt. She was purchasing three bottles of tequila, eight avocados, and an energy bar. She left in a late model BMW two-door.

The kids working for minimum at the fast food joint I went to were so genuinely friendly, upbeat, and competent that it broke my heart, after seeing her zoom off into her perfect life.

Would you rather always be right, or always get the truth?

17 thoughts on “I don’t think “porkulent” is even a proper word.

  1. Truth please. I have no problem admitting that I am wrong, so I don’t have a problem with not always being right.
    Also, I fully support any food that promotes healthy BMs! Hurray for prunes!


  2. If they’re friendly, upbeat and competent there must be something going right in their lives, whereas her perfect life could in reality be a well-furnished world of shit. Who knows?
    I see those Hollister sweatshirts and sweatpants everywhere now, which gives me pause each time because Hollister is the name of the captain on “Red Dwarf.” Is this a fashion thing or is New York being suddenly flooded with Californians or is it just one of those instances where something’s been going on for eight years and I’m just now noticing it (likely)?


  3. I like prunes a lot, too. You can stuff them with yogurt cheese and go insane, too! GRNOM. Or make Peppermint Patty Prune Whip, from the Charlie Brown Cookbook. =D
    I wish I always knew the right thing to say, because that would make the other bits easier.


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