25 thoughts on “You know, “seven days”

  1. Is that some kind of threat? “If you don’t pick up your prescription “on time”, we’re going to have to do the same work twice!”.

  2. One time I left my photos at Walgreen’s for about 10 days and I received a call from a lovely young female employee there telling me I needed to come pick them up in the next day or so or “they’ll be shredded to hell.”

  3. Reminds me of a very old (thus, funny) Dave Barry piece about grammar, which mentioned that “the purpose of the apostrophe is to let the reader know that an ‘S’ is coming up, as in the phrase ‘DOES NOT ACCEPT PERSONAL CHECK’S.'”

  4. Speaking of extraneous quotation marks…
    This was the Zagat review of a restaurant I went to recently. Appalling
    Bistango Review
    Whether seated in the “lovely dining” room or “in the Atrium” courtyard space, “you can’t go wrong” at this “upscale” Irvine New American that’s “still popular” with the “business crowd” thanks to its “diverse menu” of “ambitious”, “reliable” cooking and its “chic, friendly environment”; “great live music” and “beautiful artwork hanging throughout” also make it an “impressive place to dine with a date” or “out-of-town guests.”
    I swear. I didn’t alter it at all.

    1. Re: Speaking of extraneous quotation marks…
      I “think” that the quoted bits are snippets from people who write in to review the restaurant, as the Zagats don’t go to all the places reviewed.

      1. Re: Speaking of extraneous quotation marks…
        Ahh, that’s good to know. I shudder to think that someone actually writes like that!

      2. Re: Speaking of extraneous quotation marks…
        Yeah, that’s what zagat’s does, but it still results in asstastic copy that makes my brain hate me for teaching it the difference between good writing and EVIL.

    2. Re: Speaking of extraneous quotation marks…
      Yeah, as Pino says those are quotes from individual survey responses, so Zagat always reads that way.
      Is Bistango still good?

      1. Re: Speaking of extraneous quotation marks…
        Oh.
        Yeah, Bistango was pretty good. The service was probably better than their food, though.

  5. Pharmacist #1: Wow, I feel like I’ve been looking at this prescription sitting here on the shelf for, like, a week!
    Pharmacist #2: Yeah, me too, man.
    Pharmacist #1: I’m putting it back in stock.
    Pharmacist #2: That’s cool. It feels like it’s been there forever.
    Customer: Hey, I called in my prescription yesterday. Is it ready?
    Pharmacist #1: Oh man, I just restocked it. It’s been so slow here, it felt like it had been here a week!
    Customer: What the fuck?
    Pharmacist #2: Dude, can’t you read the sign?

      1. Re: Fast Weeks at Ridgemont High
        *BONK BONK BONK*
        That was my HEAD! I’m so wasted!
        …what day was I supposed to pick up my prescription?

  6. Equally annoying: in a shop which had two doors they posted a sign reading “Please Use ‘Other’ Door.” Maybe in bizarro-world people believe quotation marks are for emphasis.

  7. My boything has a REALLY bad habit of putting random things he’d like to emphasize in QUOTES.
    It makes me MAD.
    He had been packed off to remedial English class as a result.

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